I don’t read very many parenting books, but this one kept cropping up everywhere so I thought I’d see what all the fuss was about. I admit I did not read this slowly and thoughtfully while answering all the “reflection questions” at the end of the chapters, it was more of a skimming, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, hmm that’s interesting, sort of read.
My issue with reading it was my own avoidance of parenting books problem, it breaks down something like this:
one part,”I’m doing just fine thank you very much,”
one part “If I read all the parenting books, I’ll probably start thinking that I need to do everything different, they will all say different things and then I will go insane which would have the opposite effect I was hoping for.”
and one part “I’m half Finnish and I don’t think that half of me is interested in reflecting on my inner feelings, thank you have a nice day.”
I read it anyway, and tried to stifle my eye rolling on the bold texts that said things like,
“Pain is often the greatest catalyst to powerful change.”
“Screamfree Parenting is not a problem-solving or behavioral modification model; it is a growth model.”
Not that these things aren’t true, it’s just that my aversion to books like this was in control of my eyeballs.
My point, I did have one…
This was better than I thought. For the most part I liked what he said (it helped that I also do/believe many of the things already) and it did give me some stuff to ponder in daily life with my three year old. Hopefully my Finnishness will subside and I can even implement a bit of it. And I liked the basic message of the book. While the author multiple times mentions his disapproval for “what works for fideo will work for your kid” type books, I’d say, what I took out of it sounded an awful lot like Caesar Milan. The dog whisperer and this guy have the same basics. Calm assertive pack leader and calm consistent parent aren’t too different when you get right down to it. I know it works on the dogs, I’ve seen it help with the kids, but knowing it will help and actually being calm are not always the same thing!
Would I recommend it? I’m not recommending any parenting books. Not because how I feel but because what you want to read in that area is completely up to you, I’d hate to add to any insanity (see avoidance issues above).