Parenting Rule #1: Always Be Suspicious

Clara: “Mom, touch this.”

Me: “No.”

Clara: “No, just touch it.”

Me: “Why?”

Clara: “Just touch it.”

Me: “What is it?”

Clara: “It’s either poop or octopus tentacles.” 

Me: “I stand by my original answer.”

It’s not poop or octopus tentacles… I don’t think.

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Silly Sign

I was enjoying a lovely little walk at a new to me park. I followed the trail along the river. I admired the posts all decked out in “sweaters” by local clubs. And then I saw it, the most ridiculous of signs.

Signs like these bring out the contrary argumentative side in me because, really?!?

Now I’m assuming that they are intending to say that you may not bring domestic animals into the park and not just informing the populace that there are no domestic animals living in the park at the moment. Maybe it was just a little FYI. In that case- apologies park that shall not be named, carry on, sorry about all this! If however you are indeed excluding domestic animals I go back to: really?!?

You made this lovely park and walk down along the river and no “domestic” animals are allowed. Want to know who goes for walks outside more than anyone I know? People with dogs. People with dogs are mostly good people, and if there is the occasional person without a “doggie bag”, we call what results from that fertilizer. I just can’t understand why you would choose to excluded what would be your largest group of park users.

Because what other domestic animals are you worried about? I mean, I admit I know more than one person who has driven their sheep around in the backseat but that doesn’t mean they let them out at random parks to frolic about before they go home. And downtown, even in a small town, it seems like the amount of horse traffic would be negligible enough not to worry about. So what’s with the sign because no domestic implies that wild animals are acceptable, right?

So, what if I have pet tigers? They are certainly not domestic. If I’m a visiting tiger show person (those people are insane but real and if insane people have tigers they probably take them on tiger walks) it must be okay to bring my tiger down to the waterfront because it’s not even a little bit domesticated.

Speaking of cats. House cats barely count as domesticated either. In fact I’m pretty sure the only reason we call them domestic is because cats want us to take care of them and they tricked us into it.  I’m pretty sure that if I could get one of my cats on a leash without dying of blood loss or decapitation I could argue my way through a cats-aren’t-domestic conversation. It’d be easy because I’d look like I had been attacked by the cute little wild animals they are by the time I got to a park.

Of course if we are just talking wild animals I could coop my dogs up for a day or two and let them loose. I doubt I could argue my way through that conversation though and my dogs would only stay in that little park for 0.34 seconds before they’d be off looking for birds.

Birds though… I think there are some possibilities there. Perhaps a guinea fowl, they are domestic, but weird enough that you’d have to know them to know they are. Or a turkey, there are plenty of domestic turkeys, but raise up a nice little bronze turkey or four I bet you they would be happy to follow you through a nice park and they look close enough to wild turkeys that you could gobble in the face of that silly sign.

I’ve always wanted to take up falconry. That wouldn’t be covered. Nope, no domestic animals here and don’t worry, Mavis here just got rid of some of your rabbit problem for you too. That’d be great, but perhaps a bit more of a time investment than I can commit to at the moment.

But it is on the water… and where there is water there are geese… and I do have a ready supply of cracked corn…

Hmmmm…..

Silly signs like that do bring out the contrary in me.

Author Questions

My first children’s book was published this spring.

(Shameless plug: Here it is on Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/What-If-Butterflies-Loved-Snow/dp/194568190X/  – it’d make a great Christmas gift! )

A few months later I’ve, mostly, stopped looking for someone else in the room when people ask “the author” a question and I’m starting to see a pattern emerge in those questions asked.

Yes, I did really write the book. (PSA announcement: Don’t ask people that. Just don’t.)

Nope, I didn’t draw a single picture. (Occasionally I think drawing a butterfly in the book when I sign it is a good idea. And it is a good idea, in theory….)

Yes, I’d be happy to tell you the long crazy story of how it was published. How much time do you have? (Shameless plug #2: Sign up for our newsletter at whatifbutterflieslovedsnow.com to learn the story.)

And yes, unless you are a full blood relation, I will indeed avoid telling you exactly how much I earn per book. (PSA announcement #2: Do unto others as Ann Landers would do unto you.)

But for those of you who can’t contain your curiosity at just how much cash I may be raking in I have two facts for you:

  1. I’m very happy with the amount of books we’ve been selling. (You guys, people read my book to little kids! Ones I don’t know! That’s astounding!)
  2. It was 27°F when drove the kids to school with my drivers side window down because it’s broken and no longer goes up. (It’s second in line of cars to be fixed as that’s not a safety issue, just cold, inconvenient and noisy.)(Shameless plug #3: Authors like windows that roll up all the way when it snows. Reviews sell books- leave your book review here: https://www.amazon.com/What-If-Butterflies-Loved-Snow/dp/194568190X/#customerReviews )

 

Have any more author-y questions you’d like answered? Ask away!

 

NaBloPoMo Picture Prompt

November is National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo.

I’m not writing a novel this month but three cheers for those who are. I love books! Please keep writing them all you fantastic novel writers!

November is also National Blog Posting Month or NaBloPoMo.

As you may have noticed, I’m all in on that one, posting a blog a day all month.

Some days it’s easy and I’ve got words oozing out my finger tips and pictures to share jumping off the camera but I know eventually I’ll come to a day when I’m not sure what to say. There’s a lot of chat online about the solution to this problem. The group of happy, tiny, cheer peppers that I belong to shares writing prompts and tips of all kinds. But, personally, my pre-blog planning is to just take pictures of everything.

My blog is primarily just about my daily life and so anything I come across during my day that is of the ordinary or pretty or funny or that might jog a memory gets a picture snapped. I have pictures of a box of candy that was hidden and then forgot, me and a goose in the dark, chickens roosting three inches off the ground in a small bush and a close up of snow in my hair, just to name a few.

Looking for inspirational photos makes me look closer at the everyday things in life, like the latch to the gate into our orchard. It’s a nice latch. It’s even my favorite color. 

It’s also full of mouse turds.

Other than wondering what a mouse was doing hanging out on a cold metal gate latch overnight and why I thought that was picture worthy (Well it is odd, and I guess I am writing about it..) I really have nothing to say about this.

But do you?

Can you use my gate latch turned mouse bathroom for a writing prompt?

(Go ahead and copy the photo if you do just don’t forget to link back so I get to read your brilliance!)

 

Read the poem inspired by the picture at Loristory!

https://loristory.wordpress.com/2018/11/12/mice-in-the-moonlight/

Life on the Other Side

Seven years ago my best friend and I took a picture of our kids on a couch.

That was back when “visits” didn’t involve adults talking because there were five kids under five.

Just let that sink in a moment.

….

Jane was born 16 days after I posted that.

Just let that sink in for a moment.

….(That makes 6 under 5 if you are still counting.)…

Fast forward seven years.

Same kids (plus one) different couch.

They play with each other now.

As someone who used to try to visit with her best friend when all the kids just yelled “Mine!” as they stole toys from each other, needed to nurse, have their diapers changed, and be fed yet another snack, all at the same time I’m hear to tell you – it still feels like a miracle.

They play with each other now, it’s amazing.

My friend and I actual talk and laugh and do things we want to do when we get together.

It’s amazing.

We are living proof that there is life on the other side of diapers.

 

A Learned Woman

I have a four year degree, in theory it was awarded for my studies in biology.

It’s actuality I think it’s a degree in procrastination and late night cramming.

It worked then and it’s a skill I haven’t forgotten.

 

The current state of my table. Piling everything in one place counts as organization and preparation right?

This weekend I’m doing my first library program and with just one more night of cramming I should be prepared.

All I need is a beer and a package of ramen and I’ll feel 22 again.