As I read one of our new library books out loud today I had the feeling I had made a mistake in bringing it home from the library.

Not because I’d already read 37 books out loud today. Often a problem.
Not because it was a poorly written story. Sometimes I hate the books we bring home.  I try and sneak those ones back in the library bag when no one is looking.
Not because it was too scary for Ivy. She gets scared in a full body shaking sort of way, even when little lambs get lost in the snow.
Nope none of those normal occurrences, it was because I was afraid it would give her… ideas.

In this seemingly innocent book Baby Bear and Mother Bear are getting ready to hibernate for the winter. Having never slept in a cave before Baby Bear needs some help going to sleep. He needs: a snack, something to drink and then, the moon.

(I bet you already know the “ideas” Ivy had at bedtime tonight.)

The book is good, when Baby Bear asks for the moon and Mother Bear says “You need what?” It was like the book was written from a conversation between Ivy and I.

The real kicker was at the end. Baby Bear needs one more thing: “‘What now?’ grumbled Mother bear” … …and he of course needs a kiss.

Awww how sweet.

OK, Now that we are done feeling all cute let’s replay a conversation that Ivy and I had today.

While I try to be exact in my replications of our conversations this one may be a little off. Thats because we have a variation of this conversation ALL THE TIME.

Ivy: Mom!
Me: What?
Ivy: What are we havin’ for lunch?
Me: Noodles with green sauce.
Ivy: Mom!
Me: What?
Ivy: Is there goin’ to be shakin’ cheese?
Me: If you get it out of the fridge.
Ivy: MOM!
Me: What?
Ivy: I don’t know how.
Me: Well no cheese for you then.
Ivy: Oh I can get it.
Ivy: Mom!
Me: WHAT?
Ivy: I wuv you mom.

Aww, isn’t she sweet.

Except I’m certain she knows she’s pushed me to the brink and then is saving herself from being put up for adoption every time she does it!

Then of course when she headed up to bed a mischievous glint lit up her eye and she needed, a snack (You already had one.), a drink (Here is your water.), the moon (Sorry, new moon was on Tuesday and it’s cloudy, no moon tonight.)

I’m pretty sure I spoiled the game with a refusal to get her a moon so I was never asked for a kiss. I’m not worried though, tomorrow just when I’m ready to put her on Craig s list, she’ll “wuv” me.

Would I recommend it? Yes. I’m just not sure you should read it to your kids!