The Keys

I lose stuff. Well not all stuff.  In fact, like most of the mothers on the planet, I’m usually the one who knows where the – pajamas, swimming suit, toy horse, tape measure and dogs are.  My wallet and keys, that’s a different matter.  I have misplaced my wallet so many times it no longer bothers me. I’ve yet to truly lose it and eventually hours, days or weeks later, I find it again. Same with the keys. Once I tried carrying a purse. Not a good plan, then instead of losing just my wallet I’d lose my wallet, keys, cell phone and purse. After kids showed up I tried using the diaper bag as a purse – same problem.

Now I have a system. My wallet is tiny, it fits in my pocket, mostly I leave it in the truck. My keys I also leave in the truck. When I go out in public I leave my Great Dane in the truck and figure truck, keys and wallet are safe behind her big, slobbery barks. When Piper needs to stay home I cart them around and it usually works out. Except when it doesn’t.

Many months ago I lost my truck keys. The good key ring. The one with all those little tags from stores ( and libraries) that I have collected over the past 10 years and can’t seem to get rid of just in case I stop by a Sentry store and need to save $.50 on a bag of grapes.  I looked in the truck (because that’s where I keep my keys) and then I looked in the basket on the fridge (because that’s where John keeps keys) and then I looked again and again. I looked in unlikely locations and I questioned Ivy repeatedly.

No keys.

John harassed me about losing keys, I ignored him.  Months went by. John locked the spare (and only) set of keys in the truck and I couldn’t harass him as much as I wanted to because it was pointed out that if I had not lost the other set a locksmith would not have been necessary.  More months went by.  I used the spare keys, life went on. John occasionally would bring up how I lose keys and I would agree that yes I really seemed to have lost them this time.


John checked on the bees.

Guess what was in the pocket of his bee suit.

What followed was some very childlike and very satisfying crowing in the kitchen that detailed just who it was that  really lost my keys.

10 comments on “The Keys

  1. Cara says:

    LOVE IT!!!!!! Those moments happen so rarely they really need to be savored, I too had purse troubles. Many trips back to restaurants or other events led to ne carrying only a credit card in my pocket. That of course leads to endless searching through the laundry pile, countertop piles of papers and diaper bags etc. Thanks for this chance to smile today.

  2. Susie says:

    Here’s to $0.50 off on groceries and free library materials!

  3. Helen says:

    It gets worse as we age, Jessie. The good thing is that both spouses get used to the fact that it may be either of them who lost the keys. It takes the edge off the urge to make harrassing comments!

  4. Corky says:

    I have the same problem. Someday I will tell you the ‘wallet’ story.
    It’s a goodie.

  5. I lost my car key a few yrs back, (the expensive key fob kind–with remote lock/unlock.) Months went by–I used the spare key and had to manually lock the car. A minor inconvenience; at least I had a spare.

    I kept looking. All over the house. Went thru old purses, drawers, the wash.
    It kept me awake at night ( as does most every ting anyway).This went on for the better part of a YEAR.

    I was getting ready to order a new key from the car dealer–and spent the $80–gosh, what a WASTE! I held off.

    More months passed. We decided to clean our closet and piled up clothes for Goodwill.
    I thought, better check the pockets in case I find money!
    Well in John’s good suit ( that was showing wear and didn’t exactly fit any more) I checked the suit coat pocket and THERE was my car key/FOB. It had nearly gone to Goodwill.
    How did it get there?

    The previous year, in the fall, we met right after work and drove separately to a formal fundraiser dinner at the Lambeau Atrium. I didn’t carry a purse ( so I wouldn’t lose that too) and gave John my car keys. He put them in his pocket. How on earth did we get home with 2 cars? i had to have driven home. (still haven’t figured that one out) unless we came home and John put the keys in his pocket, absentmindedly-. No eating crow., no guffaws. just relief and money saved.

  6. oops caught a few typos–my apologies, in the above post.

  7. jaymarie says:

    I notice John’s comments are strangely absent from this post.

  8. […] Each time I leave the house I forget my wallet, my sunglasses or my car keys. […]

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