For Rent

Do you have a long solo car trip coming up? Feeling kind of tired? Thinking you should cut back on the caffeinated beverages? Look no further, we have the solution to your problems.

For Rent:  Two young girls to ride in the car and keep you awake on your long car trips.

Rent them separately!

Clara:

Clara will talk to you non-stop, but that’s not all!  To keep you awake and make sure you are paying attention she requires a response, a real response, to everything.  Keep your brain working by puzzling our her mispronounced and unclear phrases. Can’t figure out what she’s saying or getting to sleepy to respond with more than a mumbled “mmmmhhhmmm” to her query of “See Cow?”

She’ll wake you right up with:

“See cow?”

“See cow?”

“See cow?”

Until you finally say: “Yes I saw the cow!”

getting a response of :

“YEAH!”

that’ll shake any cobwebs that might have been in your brain right back out again.

Or Ivy:

Ivy will also talk, and talk and talk.  She requires less responses for more talk time but you never know what you’ll get. It could be a discussion of her Disney princess friends and their pet lemurs. It could be a recital of the last story/movie/book/thing she saw. Or it could require a little more participation. For example a conversation could go like this:

“Mom, tell me about deer.”

“What would you like to know?”

“I want to know what they like to eat and what they like to do.”

Clearly there is no nodding off behind the wheel when you are racking your brains for any and all deer facts you’ve ever heard.

Just in case that isn’t enough Ivy comes with one more special feature to keep any driver awake.

Imagine quietly driving down the road and all of a sudden…

“SANDHILL CRANE!”

or

“GOOSE!”

or her personal favorite and one I guarantee to keep any driver awake:

“HORSE!”

Think that’s not enough for you? Worried that one girl might fall asleep jeopardizing your ability to stay awake? Don’t worry if you rent one you can rent the second for half price!

On your road trip with both girls you can enjoy the benefits of each individuals keep-the-driver-awake-techniques, often at the same time!  With both girls along if that’s not enough you can always resort to the oldest, most surefire technique. Get one new toy and throw it between them.

Say good bye to energy drinks and hello to your new backseat driving friends.

Serious inquiries only.

Not responsible for: Tickets incurred while swerving to pick up toys off the floor, hearing loss, potty breaks or temporary insanity.

4 comments on “For Rent

  1. Rebecca Tilley says:

    OMG! I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. Nyk is 10 months old and already keeps his own running commentary going whenever we get in the car, be it just across town or an all day trip up to grandma and grandpa. Granted, right now it’s in martian, but it is no less entheusiastic or verbose. And woe to the toy that disagrees with some gibberish statement or another! I wasn’t aware that you could give a tongue lashing with only 3 teeth!

  2. Corky says:

    Dang it….we just drove 16 hours to North Bay, ONT….us 2 old fogies could have really used them then!! Maybe next time….

  3. Annette says:

    I love your posts–this was very creative and of course, spot on. I remember those days–Eric and Drew–talkers and inquisitive about everything. It is so neat you’ve taught them things like sandhill crane and that you are savoring and enjoying your days–every, ordinary day that becomes extraordinary.

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