Menards Math

15 boards + 1 box of screws + 70 minutes = 11 reasons Menards needs better managers…

  1. “I don’t know.”

  2. “Well… uhhh… I just got back from vacation.”
  3. “Wait, you gotta show us where that is!”

  4. “Even though we work here, we don’t know anything.”
  5. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

  6. “I have never heard of that.”
  7. “What do you do with them [screws]?”

  8. “White wood? What are you racist?”
  9. “Here’s my card – even though you’d never want to use it.”

  10. ” I don’t know where those are.”

  11. “Do you want help with that?”


I couldn’t have made that up if I tried.

5 comments on “Menards Math

    • Jessie says:

      Wow is right and that wasn’t even all of it. But we did get our wood and we did build a new kitchen table! now if I can just get it stained, and finished and in the house… It’ll be awesome! 🙂

  1. Surprised a clerk didn’t say, “Why would a woman need those?” 🙂 It’s not just Menard’s. Except for our hometown hardware store, there are few places with staff that know the store’s inventory or how to use it. Admittedly, I’m an old curmudgeon. Good luck with your table project.

    • Jessie says:

      I was saved from the scorn reserved for women in hardware stores (and Cabelas) by my brother. He may be younger than me but he’s been working on his crumudgeonly behavior since he was about 6. He was along for the shopping and helped with the building. Last time I asked a Menards workers a question they couldn’t answer when I was without a curmudgeon back up I was told that what I wanted didn’t exist. Need I even say that they were wrong?!

  2. Susie says:

    I feel your pain. Here’s a recent exchange at a “good” restaurant: Me [ordering breakfast, toast option]: “Do you have sourdough?” Server: “What?!”
    Caught being ridiculous again.

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