The Three Year Old Way

So far as I can, tell the main difference between two year olds and three year olds is that three year olds talk more.

A lot more.

Let’s say you were driving in a car with a two year old and she demanded water but there wasn’t any. You would tell her that there was no water and then there would be a high probability that pouting and screaming would follow. It would be loud, dramatic, completely unreasonable and involve lots of foot flailing on the two year olds part and teeth gritting on the mother’s part and then it would be done.

That’s the two year old way.

However, if you were driving in a car with a three year old and she demanded water but there wasn’t any, it might go something like this…

Jane: “I’m thirsty.”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t have any water.”

Jane: “Can I have some water please.”

Me: “No Jane, I don’t have any water.”

Jane: “PLEASE, can I have some water.”

Me: “Jane. I don’t have anything to drink in the car or I would give you some but I don’t have anything.”

Jane: “Mom, I’m thirsty!”

Me: “I know.”

Jane: “Can I have some Diet Coke.”

Me: “I don’t even have any Diet Coke. I don’t have anything to drink. See?” (As I hand back all available empty liquid containers so she can see for herself.)

Jane: “BUT MOM! PLEASE CAN I HAVE A DRINK!?”

Me: “When we get home you can have some, sure.”

Jane: (crying) “Please can I have some water.”

Me: “As soon as we get home.”

Jane: “Mom? Can we go to the gas station?”

Me: “Well there aren’t any gas stations here and anyways I forgot my wallet so I don’t have any money with me to  buy anything to drink.”

Jane: “Please can we go to the gas station?”

Me: “All there is between here and home is cornfields and I don’t have any money to buy anything. So, we’ll get water at home.”

Jane: “I’m THIRSTY!!!”

Me:  …..

Jane: “Please can I have water.”

Me: ….

Jane: “MOM! I NEED WATER!!!!!”

Me:  “Seriously, I have nothing! I can’t get anything, we’ll be home soon, you just have to wait!”

Jane: “PLEASE!!!!!!”

Jane

Thirty minutes of this continual and terrible conversation later you’d be twenty minutes past the point where your sanity chose to jump into a snowy ditch and abandon you but you’d be home, getting the kid an *&#% drink of water.

That’s the three year old way.

And they call it the terrible twos…

 

 

Advertisements

17 comments on “The Three Year Old Way

  1. Awesome as always and soooo painfully true! My fourth child is currently three so I’m pretty familiar with this “charming” stage! 😉

  2. Sally says:

    Oh wow. I guess I have an interesting road ahead of me with Lilly.. 😣

  3. Georgia Rose says:

    Ah yes…this brings back such delightful memories…when you have to have the patience of a saint just to get through the day 🙂

    • Jessie says:

      I’m not sure my teeth grinding reaction can be classified as “patience of a saint.” Perhaps if I give it some years it’ll look just like that in hindsight? 🙂

  4. Corky says:

    Hahahahahaha…..perfect Jessie, you got it perfect!

  5. NotAPunkRocker says:

    2 and 3 are years I have blocked out with M’s childhood. Apparently I had a good reason for that.

    Poor, parched Jane. 😀

  6. Hopeje says:

    Love the way you write! You keep humor in….bravo!

  7. beeblu says:

    There’s no arguing with that strategy! Hoo boy 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s