Not A Hoarder

Have you ever noticed how nobody lets you say you stink at something anymore?

Is it midwest nice? Has the ugly and pervasive habit some people have of saying they are bad at something just to hear others tell them that they aren’t seeped into our souls so we think it’s expected of us? Have we swung to such a stupidly positive culture that we can’t admit our faults anymore?

For instance. I am a bad housekeeper. However if I say this I am immediately met with claims that my house is in fact nice, tidy and clean. Since I can count the times I’ve washed the floor in this house on both legs and don’t believe in dusting these claims are ridiculous, uneducated and clearly false. My housekeeping has maxed out on the level of “not a hoarder”. And I am for better or worse totally fine with that.

Neither am I one of those who will claim to be poor at something just so that I can be praised. I’m not a huge fan of telling people my faults. I’d rather run with the idea that I can do anything, but of course I can’t, or in terms of house cleaning, won’t. So if I humble myself to admitting that I’m terrible at something don’t try to talk me out of it. That’s terrible for my ego and John still has to live with me.

In an effort to once and for all say, “I am a terrible housekeeper” without trying to be talked out of it I give you Exhibit A:

This tenacious little plant grew in my sink strainer under a large pile of clean dishes. Yes, I was home the whole time. (No, John was not, which is certainly a factor in its appearance.) Yes, it does have a root that goes down just as far as it is stretching up for light and yes I did transplant it into my greenhouse next to the other tomatoes. And yes, I can tell you, after raising many tomatoes from seed, a tomato plant doesn’t grow that fast overnight!

Now, next time you hear me say I stink at cleaning the house you can sympathize, you can tell me about your own plants you accidently grew, you can tell me it doesn’t bother you but please, for the love of sprouting tomatoes, don’t try to argue that I have a clean house!

9 comments on “Not A Hoarder

  1. Stephie says:

    i love you and this post (really-a tomato in your sink strainer!!!) and you are amazing at so many things but yes it is a fact you are terrible at housekeeping.

  2. barbtaub says:

    A friend cross-stitched and framed for me “Boring women have clean houses”. I took a LOT of comfort from that over the years (while ignoring the fact that she was not boring but had a clean house). The thing is when I look back at photos of those years, what leaps out is how happy everyone looks. I never notice the clutter or tumbleweed sized dust-bunnies. All four kids grew up smart and went to good schools and are doing well. Now I have a beautifully clean house that I would happily trade for one day back in the noise and clutter.

    So god bless your little tomato plant. I’m guessing it will bring far more joy than a clean sink.

    You are SO NOT a boring woman.

  3. rarasaur says:

    What I’m reading here is that you’re an AMAZING tomato-plant-lady, haha. 🙂 But seriously, it is a weird habit of people to pretend that people don’t have areas of their life where they’re not excellent, but I think it might be a product of people ascribing flaws to themselves that are really just harsh/unnecessary critiques? Or maybe it’s a chicken-and-the-egg situation. Hmmm.

  4. Joan Behm says:

    So enjoyed this read. Made me smile and smile. I, too, do not care to spend too much time clearing my services or cleaning. However, dust bunnies and I have issues with one another. There are so many other things to do or not do as the case may be.

  5. Widdershins says:

    That’s one helluva tomato plant! 😀

  6. Joe says:

    If cleanliness is next to godliness, then both our houses must be full of heathens.

  7. You are a woman after my own heart! Life is too short for housework.

  8. kirizar says:

    I am loathe to call out anyone else’s housekeeping as I fear comparison. My standards are so low, you need to find a subterranean oubliette to get any lower. In fact, I suspect that is where all my cleaning supplies have gone to live. In a hole in the ground where, maybe, just maybe, they will get a little use by the trolls living there.

    Today, for example, I was getting a fork from a drawer for my lunch and somehow, my hand tripped (yes, you heard that correctly) and I dumped half my food down the front of the counter and onto the floor. I did scoop up the larger, chunkier mess, but am leaving actually ‘clean up’ until I’ve hit this day’s quota of spills. I’d hate to clean preemptively if there are messes yet to be made. It seems only prudent.

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