Right On Schedule

Almost a year ago I wrote about Ivy and the “Art Guilt” I was suffering from.  The problem resolved itself rather well in the last year. Ivy stopped drawing people, got into coloring books (which no matter how nicely she colors I have no problem getting rid of after a few days) and when she makes crafts at the library story time she likes to give them away to friends – perfect.

Today I’m worried the problem may be returning, she’s back to people, and now they have accessories.

Look: it’s me, with a river, grass, two anklets, a necklace, a bracelet and a pretend Ivy swimming in the river.

What do you think another year and I’ll get pants?

Now if you’ll recall my plan for last years art work was, “…go put them some place stupid, lose them, forget about them and probably find them years in the future having been eaten by mice. ”  When I went to add this picture to the others I discovered I’m right on schedule… I’ve lost them.

Hanging On

It’s been a rough week here.

After the fun of the Birkie weekend, and the relief of having Piper back home Ivy got sick,

and then Clara got sick,

and then I got sick,

and now from the way John sounds he’s getting it too.

Life here hasn’t been the best, there have been tears, and fevers, and puking, and coughing, and more tears.

It has made for sleepless nights and difficult days.

Tonight  I accidentally used kid number one to knock kid number two  off a chair. Kid number two went flying to land flat on her back, which horrified me so I dropped kid number one, and ended up with two kids screaming on the floor.

Then when they were both safely tucked in bed I had a few tears of my own.

Because even though I know it was an accident and everything is OK, there is that nasty mommy guilt.

Because even though I had no idea Clara had climbed up on the chair I still used Ivy to send her flying to the floor.

Because even though I dropped Ivy because she wouldn’t put her feet down and stand when I asked her to so I could check Clara, I still dropped her to check her sister.

All those people with their warnings about parenthood; in addition to being obnoxious they were wrong.

It’s not the sleepless nights that will get you.

It’s not even the subtle and not so sublte lifestyle changes that occour after you have children that you need to watch out for.

It’s the mommy guilt.

It’ll get you every time.

Yup, It’s been a rough week, but we are hanging on…

… I just hope someone gives us our chair back soon!

P.S. I have no idea how Clara got herself in this predicament today.  I walked into the kitchen and found Clara looking fairly happy and stable, so I snapped a quick picture before helping her down.

Ivy was nowhere to be seen.

Art Guilt

Guilt.

It’s a common theme amongst mothers.  A mother can find something to feel guilty about in anything.   Working mom, stay at home mom, public schools,  McDonald’s, nursing , co-sleeping, formula feeding, diapers,  soap, playing,  learning,  reading, house cleaning, TV watching, socialization, pretty much if a mom or a kid can do it some mother somewhere is feeling guilty about it.

I like to think I do pretty well at avoiding feeling guilty, not perfect but perhaps better than average. Lately though I’ve been struggling with a doozy dose of Mom Guilt.

My current dilemma…

…artwork.

Admittedly what Ivy creates has only recently achieved a status that I would call artwork, but whatever you call it what do I DO with it? In the last few days she went on a frenzy and turned most of a package of computer paper into pictures for us.  In the past her pictures have involved five swipes of color on one sheet of paper.  I can leave them sit for a few days by which time they get eaten, crumpled or spilled on and then I can throw them away guilt free.   Now I have a ream of pictures, many of which are family portraits. (Just in case you were wondering these aren’t heads and necks, they are heads and legs. Just wanted to clear that up for you so Ivy didn’t have to.)

The sensible part of me says to follow my past plan and throw them away after a few days. The sentimental part of me wants to keep them. The sensible part says, “Where Jessie, Where would you keep them?” to which the sentimental part answers that there must be someplace that I can stash a few drawings. Then the sensible side says that there are truly NO artwork storing area in the house and I’ll end up putting them someplace stupid, lose them, forget about them and find them in ten years having been eaten by mice. The sentimental part retorts that at least I’ll have tried.

As my multiple personalities war inside me,  all I end up with is a big dose of guilt as I slowly filter pictures off to the garbage. To combat the Mom Guilt I have collected a few pictures and stapled them together into a book. The sentimental part of me is going to go put them some place stupid, lose them, forget about them and probably find them years in the future having been eaten by mice.

But at least I’ll have tried.