It is the phrase I have attempted (with help from Jim & Charles Fay and twenty billion reminders from John) to teach myself. It is the phrase that insistently lets the kids know they are in trouble yet gives me time to think what to do next. It is the phrase that can stop my mouth from uttering ridiculous edicts before my brain has a chance to think about them. It is the phrase that keeps me from saying, “That’s it! You are never getting a glass of water again!” when confronted with a mess purposefully made with a glass of drinking water. It is a good phrase.
But now I have a problem. Jane is beating me to the “Uh-oh.” Now I walk in a room and I don’t even have to scan for issues, I just listen. If I hear “Don’t say ‘Uh-oh’ Mom! Don’t say “Uh-oh’!” I know there is trouble in the making.
Yes, I can hear you laughing from here and you can stop anytime now. Because seriously. Seriously. Does she really think she can get away with all sorts of trouble just by talking fast and looking cute!?! Talk about an attitude guaranteed to make a mothers blood pressure spike!
After all, that’s my line! I get to say “Uh-oh!” I get to use that to pause, and breath, and refrain from issuing crazy threats or giving her to the next delivery man that knocks on the door. I say “Uh-oh.” Don’t be stealing my line Jane- I need it and unless you want to be shipped to Abu Dhabi ala Garfield, you do too!
Furthermore, frantically repeating “Don’t say ‘Uh-oh’ Mom! Don’t say “Uh-oh’!” while continuing to do the offending activity lets me know, not only, that she knows that she shouldn’t be doing whatever it is she’s doing but also that she thinks she can get away with continuing what she’s doing right in front of me if she’s a fast enough talker.
But the really big problem is that Jane is awful cute and listening to her panic as she tries to finish getting into trouble is, admittedly, pretty hilarious.
Which means that it’s true. She can totally get herself out of trouble and keep her mother smiling if she’s a fast enough talker.
I’m so doomed.