Moose’s Loose Tooth by Jacqueline A Clarke and Bruce McNally

Most everybody has a thing. A thing that gives them the heebie jeebies, the shivers, the get-me-out-of-heres, the gag reflex, the I-can’t-even-look-at-it-I’m-running-the-other-ways.  For some it’s spiders. (Personally my live and let live philosophy on spiders maxes out when they reach half dollar size and they are crawling on my leg and then my girly reaction kicks in and I squeal and fling in off and then stomp it to death with a bathmat – other than that sort of scenario (which happened last week if anyone wants to know) I let them live in the corners of the house, check out cool webs outside and visit the tarantulas at the zoo.)  Other people can’t stand to look at snakes, worms, maggots and a certain notable person, *cough* John *cough* , has a major issue with brown, slimy, lettuce.  For me it’s teeth. I don’t like teeth. I don’t like my teeth, I don’t like your teeth, the dentist touches my teeth, I hate him. Teeth are my heebie jebbie inducer.  So please tell me what on earth my husband was thinking when he brought this home from the library:

And, as if that isn’t bad enough, the moose asks an ostrich to pull his tooth out…

Then, leaving aside the fact that I can think of no good scenario where a moose, ostrich, tiger, zebra, giraffe and elephant all live together, I really, really never wanted to see them pulling a tooth out together. Ever.

And then.

And THEN.

The elephant swallows the tooth.

AAAHHHHH!!!

Which brings me to my long winded point.

I hate this book.

Which brings me to me really long winded point and a household rule we have.

Mom only has to read a library book once. (Sometimes I love making the rules.)

If they bring a book home from the library I’ll read it once. If it is a good mutually acceptable book I’ll read it 37 more times during the course of the week before we return it but if it’s bad – once. This is something that people have harassed me about, saying that if my kids want to read I should be reading whatever they want. I disagree.  There are plenty of books out there that we would both like to read so when they do manage to sneak a book like Moose’s Loose Tooth or anything involving Dora home, I’m only reading it once.  Because sometimes once is more than enough.

Now, I’m looking for a children’s book that has brown, slimy, lettuce in it, maggots would be nice bonus material, anybody have any ideas?

To be fair, if it weren’t for my whole teeth hating thing this book would be just fine. It’s got the kind of repetition and humor that kids like, Ivy has been asking about when her teeth will fall out and I’ve had to reject it as a possible read almost every time we’ve sat down in the last week!

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5 comments on “Moose’s Loose Tooth by Jacqueline A Clarke and Bruce McNally

  1. peters154 says:

    That does look like a creepy book!

    There’s a book called “I Stink”, by Kate McMullen, not sure if it has slimy lettuce, but it does have an A to Z of garbage, such as M is for Moldy Meatballs.

    • Jessie says:

      I’ll have to check it out even if there isn’t Slimy Salad on the S page it sounds like fun, thanks!

    • John says:

      Hey! Who’s side are you on?

      In my defense, I was at the library with all three girls and managing to not have anyone yelling, screaming or crying. The last thing I was interested in was prescreening the books. My plan consists of letting the girls get the books that they like and if they are bad, hiding bad ones between the mattress and box spring of the bed until we go back to the library.

      • peters154 says:

        We just got a bunch of books at a library book sale when we went on vacation , and of course my son loves the one book that is exceptionally creepy. Unfortunately, there just wasn’t “enough room” in our luggage to bring it home – it’s still back at the vacationn house

        • Jessie says:

          Ha! That sounds like me telling the girls that we didn’t bring enough money for the Dora books at the library book sale… where you could fill a bag for a set price.

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