Strongly Agree

Even down here, from under this nice comfy rock where I reside, I can tell the election is coming. If I were to manage to forget the date, miss the yard signs and keep the radio off  the phone calls alone would remind me. These are no ordinary political calls either.In fact I haven’t received a single call telling me who I should vote for and why. Nope, so far all I’ve answered are survey questions. Survey questions, which I must admit, I’m pathetically happy to answer.

You see it’s like this…

Here I am home alone with three kids. We’ve almost made it through another day. Which means that I’ve answered approximately 5,00,000,003 questions. 3,000,000,000 of my answers were considered wrong by the children and resulted in lengthy repetitive “discussions” (read how many different ways can you say, “No more apple cider!”). 2,000,000,000 of my answers were never heard by the kids because they had already moved on to other things and the last three of my answers were considered satisfactory and were allowed to stand.  I’m on the brink of answering question 5,000,000,004 thinking the odds are poor that it will have a good outcome when the magic moment happens – the phone rings. A ringing phone can only mean one thing – ADULT CONVERSATION! I jump up shedding kids, dogs and dinner paraphernalia like a duck sheds water, dash to the phone and try to say hello as if I’m not grasping at a life line.

My excitement over the ringing phone had started to wane when I realized that three quarters of all my phone calls were people asking me what I think. But then I realized something. Three quarters of my phone calls are adults asking me what I think! I answer, and no one argues, screams, cries or stomps the ground. Sometimes they say things like “Really?!” which strikes me as odd and my science background is then suspicious of their results.  Sometimes I mess with them to see if I can get them to leave their script – also not good scientific survey etiquette. Sometimes they provide “information” and then ask their questions again which makes the biologist in me shudder in horror. Most of the time I just cheerfully answer their questions using their awkward phrase of choice.

After the most recent barrage of survey questions I hung up the phone and realized something quite depressing.The political season’s version of telemarketers has become my new entertainment. Standing in the kitchen already besieged by more unanswerable questions from my own personal Lollipop Guild  I immediately made myself a promise that I strongly agreed with…

I must crawl out from under my rock for a social event more often than my once a week library visit and I will never believe the results of the phone polls!

I wrote this for the Daily Post’s writing challenge of the week (of Oct. 1st) and am going with the better late than never theory. To see other responses to the challenge check out:  http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2012/10/01/weekly-writing-challenge-metaphor-and-similie/

8 comments on “Strongly Agree

  1. Jenny says:

    Jessie, You do need to get out to the library more often. I think I need to call you. I ignore the phone because when I do answer it bad things happen here. Maybe I could write a blog post about that.

    • Jessie says:

      I know what you mean about bad things happening when you are on the phone… and sometimes when I talk to people like Sarah who also have a few kids at home we spend at least half of our conversation listening to the other person talk to/ yell at their kids… but at least there is something else in between! And I’d love a phone call from you anytime! 🙂

  2. peters154 says:

    Glad I’m not the only stay at home parent who does this! Last week I kept a survey taker on the phone for at least a half hour. The survey was on supermarkets. The survey taker told me that I was the only person to complete the survey that day. “feel free to call tomorrow” I said.

  3. Imelda says:

    Oh Jessie, you are not alone. I still have not succumbed to entertaining the telemarketers with answering their call but I have often found myself bothering my husband about my lack of social life. He will almost always advise me to go out and meet friends, socialize. Tat should be nice except that I have no friends to socialize with hereabouts. I find it hard to make significant friendships at my age and under my circumstances. Oh sigh.

    • Jessie says:

      I’m not sure I ever bother John about my lack of social life so much as attack him at the door with a bunch of babble when he comes home at night!
      I will also admit that a large portion of my lack of social life is self induced – when I’ve got time to do things I’m much more inclined to work on a project, work out, go for a walk with the dogs, read a book… rather than go get together with people. But I should try to remember that I might be totally stir crazy by the evening if I don’t go out!

  4. thinkbigmuch says:

    Love this post! Awesome job! My favorite was your reference to your “own personal Lollipop Guild.” Classic!

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