It’s official, the line has been drawn and it’s no proverbial line in the sand this time.
For months we have been fretting about the proposed plans to the highway we live on. Widening lanes, adding paved shoulders, better drainage, wider right of ways, it all sounded fine, until we looked at the plans. The plans that showed our house sitting on it’s own tiny peninsula of land in the right of way. After discussions, tears, e-mails, phone calls, public information meetings, hope, despair, plan changes, and septic system explorations, we were offered the option of moving the right of way line through the house. This option, the option we have chosen, comes with demolition plans, relocation specialists, appraisals, options to move or rebuild, moving reimbursements and more hope for our living location than we’ve had in a long time.
And while everyone who has ever lent a hand and helped with one of the many projects and updates we’ve worked on has cheered when they found out that our house will be reduced to a large pile of toothpicks I can’t help but be sad.
It’s true that our home has at times been a nightmare to work on, a hundred years of different owners fixing problems in their own “unique” ways. But the work we have put into the many upgrades that we’ve made- the almost finished projects that are doomed to stay that way – the ideas and plans only half realized of making our home just exactly how we want it – abandoned and unfinished- not for someone else to pick up and carry on – but to turn to rubble…
I find it hard to smile with the rest of them.
I know this is the right decision, I may be teary eyed at the prospective changes but the thought of leaving our house where it is is much worse. Soon we’ll have more meetings and e-mails, phone calls and appraisals, offers, and decisions and we’ll know the direction our lives will be headed. My mind will stop spinning in furious circles and I’ll be able to start to plan for our new home, where ever it may be. The excitement will build and it will be easier to close the door on this one.
But now, right now, as we wait and decide, I feel we have failed to finish what we’ve started and more than a little homeless.