I Need More Dark Chocolate

It’s true what they say.

As my children age I am getting less intelligent.Ivy black and white

Or as my eldest says, “YOU’RE JUST STUPID!”

Sadly that was as I was asking her to do something totally outrageous like get in the car for swim lessons and not after one of our dreaded circular conversations when it might (in a nicer manner of course) have been warranted.

Ivy has two snack times now and, my feelings on that aside, I needed some clarification on exactly how it worked.

“Do you need to bring a snack for milk break too?” I ask.

“No”,she says as she laughs, “They pass one out.”

“Oh, so you only need to bring one snack.”

No!“, and she laughs harder shaking her head, “There are two snacks!”

“When?”

“Mom…” she laughs as she shakes her head.

“No really. When do they pass out snacks?”

“MOM! At snack time!” -giggle, giggle-

“But, then when do you eat the snack you bring?”

“At snack time!”

“So you do need to bring two snacks?”

And so the conversations goes round in circles while the first grader laughs at her oh-so-ridiculous-mother that doesn’t know a single thing about snack time.

Clara is more patient with me.

She knows that sometimes I just don’t get it. When that happens she raises her eyebrows, look to the heavens and says, “Actually Mom…”Clara black and white

Every now and then Ivy will pipe up with a gem like this: “How many ten minutes.”

And I, admittedly, panic.

It’s early in the morning. I have no idea what we are talking about. The question makes no sense to me. Is it better to pretend I didn’t hear? Or do I ask for clarification and risk the circular conversation before I’ve finished my cup of tea? Will she find my stupidity this morning amusing, frustrating or will it bring on tears?

“Actually Mom…”

“No Mom, mini-corn dogs are a healthy lunch.” Ivy says laughing at my disbelief.

“Actually Mom..”

And then Jane chimes in.Jane black and white

“Daddy?”

“Daddy?”

“Daddy?”

What, who me?!

“Yeah!”

“MOM!”

“Actually…”

“DADDY!”

Then, just like that, in the midst of the chaos I can practically feel it happen -poof- there goes another batch of brain cells.Clara and Jane black and white

Fortunately I’ve done .45 seconds worth of internet research on sub-par sites and discovered that dark chocolate is good for your brain.

Unfortunately we are out.

Somebody forgot to get more…

7 comments on “I Need More Dark Chocolate

  1. Helen says:

    It’s a good thing people like me, who really are loosing brain function, don’t have young children to point it out! (Grown children seem to keep such thoughts to themselves.)

  2. Imelda says:

    Welcome to the club. As my husband loves to say, our children have eaten our brains. Now, they are way smarter than us. πŸ™‚

  3. thinkbigmuch says:

    I think this post was amusing. But I’m not sure. It’s the kind of laugh when you realize that you are laughing out loud at a joke someone made about you. But you can’t stop laughing mid-guffaw because then they’d realize that you realize they were laughing AT you not WITH you. So you keep awkwardly laughing to prove that even when you’re being made fun of, you can laugh it off like its no big deal. Or maybe it was just funny. I’m too stupid to figure it out.

  4. 1createblogs says:

    Nice post !

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