I dug into my folder of drafts tonight.
I looked way back through pages of half written stories and ideas that never went anywhere. I bypassed one terrible poem and found my way to end of the files. And there I discovered the first abandoned draft of my blog, this fully written post from June of 2010.
I wrote this at the time when Clara’s food issues were causing havoc with her body and we hadn’t yet figured out what was going on. There was lots of puking, lots of pooping, and lots of screaming. I knew there was something wrong with Clara but we had yet to convince a doctor that I was anything more than a crazy mom. Ivy was three and unsympathetic to her little sisters high needs. Our entire house smelled of spoiled milk from all the spit up (“Spit up” doesn’t do it justice, it was projectile vomit and it was everywhere!). It was not the best of times. I was using this blog as a way to highlight the positive things in life and I’m sure that’s one of the reasons why this didn’t make the cut.
But here it is, in it’s unaltered form (though it’s hard to suppress the urge to re-write it) complete with a picture of little Ivy!
It’s been a long week! To begin with, check out the If You think YOU had a bad day post then keep that picture in your mind, and if you can imagine a sound to go with it that will help set the stage as well. Needless to say, Clara has had a rough week, which means that I have had a rough week, which means Ivy has had a rough week, which you guessed it means John’s week was rough too. Don’t forget to add rain and cold to the mix as well!
But lets talk about Ivy and I. Monday and Tuesday, Clara yelled, I took care of her, Ivy got less attention, Ivy was very good. Wednesday came along, Clara yelled, I took care of her, Ivy got less attention, Ivy wasn’t so good. Thursday came along, Clara yelled a bit less, I took care of her, while making a huge effort to spend more time with Ivy. The result Ivy and I are only sort of on speaking terms tonight.
Today we, did chores together, play-doh, felt board, books, cleaned together. Finally after the sun came out this afternoon she went out to play by herself. She brought me in some flowers and I asked to take a picture of them because while she was out there it looked like she wrestled with the sidewalk chalk. I got this picture.
So sweet…
…or not.
This is Ivy’s shut down mode. It is her passive refusal to do absolutely anything, where she closes her eyes and turns into a limp noodle. Oh sure, she looks all sweet and innocent, but I think that is some sort of latent survival instinct kicking in. Without the innocent look, I’d be down to just one screaming child!
Behind the Willows 
Oh how my heart went out to you! You are such a wonderful mother. Keep up the great work you’re doing!
Thanks Margie.
I have forgotten these hard times. I agree with Margie’s comments 100%!
They were good times to mostly forget, but I thought I’d better post it so I don’t completely forget.
Ah, although emotional and difficult, this is a lovely post – it is great to have written down these moments to help preserve the memories, even if they are not the happiest – it’s all part of the journey.
Thank you, that’s just exactly why I decided to post it.
I so understand you feelings. 😉 so what was Clara issue? Milk intolerance ? Jessica
Oh, it was an everything intolerance. I forget the medical condition that they found (terrible that I forgot, lovely that it’s been good for long enough that I was able to forget). They ended up scoping her because she had blood in her stool and puke and she had some sort of bleeding ulcery/polypy things in her stomach and intestines. A-hole dr. said she’d probably grow out of it and that we should google it for more info. Seriously. Anyways googling it we learned that it can be exacerbated by different foods so we cut out a bunch of stuff (like dairy) and it was better but not great so we had a blood sample done for a food sensitivity test and it came back for everything. Seriously – chicken, oatmeal, dairy, eggs, cauliflower… the list was huge. Now we’ve been able to slowly add everything back in except for large amounts of dairy and chicken. And yes I know, chicken. Not only do we raise them but it’s bland and boring. But it still gives her an upset stomach. I’m hoping that she’ll grow out of that too but it hasn’t happened yet.
Whew- still glad you asked! 🙂
Whoua! Happy for you she s better now. Our son had bleeding pimples on the face so scares! ( as of course he was scratching) and bronchitis all the time from the minute I started introducing dairy. I breast feed him until 13 months and started to introduce dairy from 6 month… It worsen when he was one and a half… Doctors tough it was eczema! I was sure it was dairy and stopped it against their advised! He stopped all symptoms! I was right! And I know how thought it was nothing with dairy ( no industrial or birthday party cakes yogurts chocolate chips etc….) but he s now 3 and a half and we reintroduced dairy, still gives him a tiny rash If to much! But he can eat normal again! For you I can imagine! I m sure they ll improve while growing… Any way that gives them and us better alimentary habits 😉 in the meantime bravo
Bravo to you too, it’s hard to go against the dr.’s advice! I’m so glad you also figured out how to help your little guy. Having a little kid who can eat normal food is such a relief. When Clara was about 2 she knew she couldn’t eat all sorts of things so she would ask you if she could smell your food. Heartbreaking. But yes we all eat much healthier than we used to, sliver linings in everything right?
We are lucky, and luckiest to take the best out thing. Let s keep it with a smile! By the way, I did not know you were raising chicken ( for work?) One of my dream is to had some chicken and a real potager ( allotment). We do grow some vegetables and fruits, medicinal herbs, but I did not dare the chicken! Will not for the moment. But one day….
Yup, right now we have about 15 laying hens. Very low for us because of the move. We usually have between 30-50 though once we were up to 80. And then until this Clara food issue we raised between 50-100 meat birds every year as well. We are thinking of doing turkeys again next year if she still can’t handle the chicken. But while turkeys seem like a good idea in theory they have always been a pain! We’ll see…
That s also hens I would like one day, but 2 to 5 max. In France near by us, http://www.ledomainedesaturnin.fr/ a woman started this around her 40′ with her husband. It’s really nice, they also have duck, turkey, pintade… She was previously clerk of court. It was her dream, not mine, but I love the fact she made her dream comes true. She also cooks ( guest table) and have a bed and break fast. Bonne soirée. ( good evening)
Sounds amazing- stick to your dream get your hens- they are fun to have around and of course the eggs are so, so tasty!
Oh I wonder what or puppy dog would do with them… I will in a little while I m sure.