I Can’t Keep Up

It’s happening. I’m turning into one of those old moms who says things like “I just can’t keep up with my children.”

And it’s true, I can’t keep up with them lately…

The girls and I get in the truck and buckle up for the half hour ride into the “big city.” This takes at least five minutes even though everyone can buckle their own seat belt and two kids cry. Always.

Since one kid is crying, that kid sticks with it. Then something happens with a water bottle and wailing ensues. Because of the pinching. Which is, of course, because of the unfairness of life, the universe, and everything.

I am informed of all these things at top volume.

I reply in my reasonable-yet-totally-pissed-that-I’m-having-to-have-this-discussion Mom voice.

No one hears me over the wailing and yelling.

I reply in my totally-pissed-I’m-having-to-have-this-discussion-because—pinching—seriously-girls? voice.

No one hears me over the wailing and yelling.

I reply in my I-have-had-enough voice and spew totally unenforceable statements at top volume (a skill that seems to come out best when I’m driving).

They hear me, and all wailing and yelling is now directed at me.

Slowly peace descends.

Then a tear-free chipper happy voice pipes up from the back “Hey Mom! Guess what so-and-so’s brother wore to school today? A fake mowhawk and tutu! Isn’t that crazy?”

Head reeling (I thought they hated me and were never speaking to me again) I start to respond in my Yay-we-are-all-friends-again voice.

But I get interrupted because of the wailing and demanding.

I reply in my reasonable-yet-totally-pissed-that-I’m-having-to-have-this-discussion—again Mom voice.”

No one hears me over the wailing and demanding.

I reply in my totally-pissed-I’m-having-to-have-this-discussion-because-sharing-is-just-something-you-have-to-do voice.

No one hears me over the wailing and demanding.

I reply in my I-have-had-enough voice and spew totally unenforceable statements at top volume (a skill I seem to be working on hard lately).

They hear me, and all wailing and demanding is now directed at me.

Slowly peace descends.

Then a tear-free chipper happy voice pipes up from the back, “Hey Mom! Did you know North and South America are only connected by a bridge!?!”

And I find it’s true. I just can’t keep up with my children.

 

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12 comments on “I Can’t Keep Up

  1. thinkbigmuch says:

    It’s like you’ve been in my car…

  2. Let’s just say that I might be old enough to relate 🙂

  3. Sharon jacobson says:

    When the wailing and argueing started I would pull of to the side of the road and say nothing until someone asked “why”. My answer was we will continue when everyone is quiet. Read a book or look out the window!! Happened again stop again. Soon things were pretty good. Can’t travel with wailing kids!!

    • Jessie says:

      Travel, travel I couldn’t ask for better car riders it’s the errands and trips to school that they fall apart. We might have to be late to things a little more often…

  4. Firewaves21 says:

    I always wore earplugs in the car, and when wailing and yelling ensued we would pull over until it stopped. This was of course, hugely inconvenient, but it worked. Also there would be rewards/punishments for well behaved/not well behaved car rides. I feel your pain. Hang in there.

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