Do you have anything that you pull out, look at, shudder and then hide it back safely away where it belongs?
I have a draft of a blog post hiding at the bottom of my overly large pile of drafts like that. It contains nothing more than this innocent sentence:
“Mom, guess what? I’m just going to fallow you around wherever ever you go today!!”
Occasionally I flip through all my started and discarded posts looking for inspiration and I run across this one and shudder.
There are probably mothers who could look at a memory like that with full hearts and happy smiles.
Instead that sentence brings me back to days of diapers and mandatory naps. Days of more children than arms and kids that needed help with all the things. Days that there was always at least one kid clinging to me and I wished for nothing more than to walk at a normal speed. Days that remind me just exactly what it felt like when I wished I could jump right out of my skin with it’s clinging children and head for the hills. Days that I’m glad are behind me.
I look at that terrifying sentence and thank my lucky stars, individually and by name, that my kids continue to grow and learn. I thank those stars that I didn’t run for the hills so I can enjoy them now in ways that I couldn’t before. And I thank them for the knowledge I have on those days when I still want to spring out of my skin and head for the hills. The knowledge that, whatever terrible phase we are now in, this to shall pass.