I’m ever so grateful for all you do, however. However. We need to talk. It’s about sleeping- I know, I know. You don’t get enough. Believe me, as your body- I know. But here is the thing Brain, I think if you actually tried at night we’d get much better sleep.
For instance, when it’s too hot. I’ve already done the hard stuff. I’ve woken you up, diagnosed the problem and gotten the synapses firing. So could you please do something useful with those brain waves of yours? Throw off the covers. Open a window. Turn on the air conditioner. Anything! I know you love John, I do too. I’m all about snuggling but sometimes we need to let your emotional attachment relax for a few hours and run to the cooler side of the bed!
And so long as we are on the subject of temperatures, let’s talk about being cold. The blankets. They aren’t that far away. There is an entire chest full of extras just at the foot of the bed. So, smartypants brain, when we lose the blankets, could you please rouse yourself enough to find one!? I know – you feel that finding a blanket in the middle of the night is an insurmountable task. But trust me, trying to sleep huddled under a pillow for warmth is also pretty damn difficult.
My other request, is admittedly, a bit harder. It involves the children. Yes, I know, don’t even start whining about how you deal with them all day, they are still our children all night long. And when they come down at night with their pointy elbows, tickley hair, nonstop talking and excessive body heat we need to remove them. Not just hide on the other side of the bed, because, perhaps you’ve noticed, they follow us there! Brain, I have done the pregnant thing- three times. Ditto on the nursing and the co-sleeping thing. I have shared my body and my bed and now? Now I am done. I am too tired, too hot and I am done sharing. We need them to go back to their room in the middle of the night. Yes, they are cute, and their cheeks are soft and when they do fall asleep they are lovely and angelic. But mostly they talk and giggle and manage to stuff their fine, wispy hair up our nose and steal our pillow. They’ve got to go Brain, they’ve got to go.
And finally, when we get a chance to take a nap, could you please just settle down and let us sleep. Stop composing to do lists, dinner ideas and blog posts in our head, you can do that when we wake up. You are jeopardizing our scant hours of sleep and we need it all Brain. We really need it all!
This has been a great partnership, you and me, body and brain. Just think how much better it could be with a little bit more shut eye – we could do anything!
Here is to a continued fantastic union and a long well rested life!