Morning Things

To say that I’m not at my best in the morning may be an understatement. I am a night owl, I am not a morning person.

But I am an amazingly fortunate night owl,  I rarely have to get up at a prescribed time in the morning. (Thank you Honey!) However, I do have children.

This means that many mornings I lie in bed three quarters asleep trying hard to be all the way asleep while children drape themselves over me and talk to me in ridiculously loud voices. I respond in grunts, mumbles and sometimes yells (Don’t ever tickle my feet or stick your finger up my nose when I’m sleeping I do not like it.) that I hope will make them all be quiet for just ten more minutes. (Ten minutes is, of course, the magical morning time that will make everything better.)

This is not my proudest moment of the day.

I look sort of like this in the morning but grumpier and less cute.

I look sort of like this in the morning but grumpier and less cute.

It takes a Thing to get me up. An extra nudge to convince me that leaving my comfy bed, where sleep might still happen, is what needs to be done. Often the Thing is the beckoning bathroom. (Which makes me feel old.) Some days it’s the sound of children getting into what they shouldn’t. (Think, yogurt falling out of the refrigerator, and chairs being moved for access to high places.) Sometimes the Thing takes the form of animal mischief.  (Puking cats, barking dogs, frightened chicken noises…) On terrible mornings the Thing is a warm wet puddle spreading from a nearby child. And on horrible days the Thing is the alarm clock and my conscience. It is rare that a conversation with a child will be the Thing to rouse me in the morning but it does occasionally happen. (Read Just Imagine for a rather dramatic example.)

On a recent morning Clara was snuggled into my nice cozy bed and talking at me about, well, actually, I have no idea what it was about. Clara was talking and I was making mumbly, grunty noises hoping she’d stop when she dropped a Thing into conversation.

“Mom, when Trip dies, you can make him into hot dogs.”

It was, without a doubt, a Thing. Suddenly I was wide awake, simultaneously giving a lesson on what hot dogs are made of, proclaiming that no one is ever eating our dogs and getting her breakfast ready. Just in case my neglecting to get out of bed in a reasonable amount of time and feed her was giving her ideas.


12 comments on “Morning Things

  1. barbtaub says:

    I used to think I was a morning person. But the first time I got pregnant and gave up coffee I realized the truth– I’m a caffeine person.

    With four kids I did think that it would be nice if I could, at least occasionally, sleep in a child-free bed. I bought this adorable child-size fold out sofa for next to our bed and decked it out with enticing pillows and comfy quilts. The dog loved it.

    • Jessie says:

      A caffeine person – love it! I probably qualify as one of those too, mornings without a cup of tea are just scary.

      And that was so nice of you to make such a sweet bed for the dog I bet they loved it! 🙂

  2. Georgia Rose says:

    You’ve just made me choke on my morning coffee Jessie – hilarious!! Thanks for the laugh 🙂

  3. I’m now a morning person for some reason, and I resent it. My kids are sleeping and I could totally still be in bed, but am I? no. Something is wrong with me 🙂

    • Jessie says:

      That’s just crazy! 🙂 Very occasionally I end up awake before the kids and it’s nice to drink my tea and eat breakfast without having to talk. But not so nice I’m setting an alarm to do it everyday!

  4. Years of observation have convinced me that the world is about evenly divided between Night Owls and Early Birds — and that they invariable marry one another. The children… the Early Bird gene must have been dominant in your family. Sorry. Makes for a fun post, though.

  5. The JellyFish says:

    Hahaha! Maybe she knew that little statement would get you out of bed :p

  6. Galit Breen says:

    Ohmygoodness, too much! I know exactly what you mean about a Thing! It never fails, does it? 🙂

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