Anarchist 2.0 and the Goldfish

Children are masters at wrecking stuff.

I’m not even talking about their mothers’ bodies, peace of mind or plans for Friday night. I’m just, shallowly, talking about stuff.

Stuff like potted plants, picture frames, yoga mats and painted walls. Stuff like chapstick tubes, favorite coffee mugs, screen doors and brown sugar bears. Stuff like glasses, bowls,  plates and your favorite figurine you’ve had since you were a kid.

If you’ve got it, they can wreck it.

And three year olds? Three year olds are wreckin’ it masters.

When Clara was three, John named her The Anarchist.

The universe, finding us cute in our naivety, sent us Jane.Jane crazy eyes

Jane, Anarchist 2.0, puts Clara’s attempts to shame.

Or, *sigh* to be perfectly honest, it’s that with Jane, the third child, came a reduction of her mother’s brain cells. Leaving her poor mother with a memory and attention span that not even a goldfish would envy.

Sadly, that’d be me.

I routinely get distracted somewhere between “Why has Jane been so quiet for the last ten minutes?” and “I better go check on her.” This gives Anarchist 2.0 more than enough time to ply her skills around, say, the bathroom while she, could possibly, empty all the lotion, conditioner, shampoo and stick the band-aids to the toilet, hypothetically of course…

So, if you come to visit and you wonder why we use mason jars as glasses, have band-aids stuck to odd items and finger holes in the screen door. Just remember, an anarchist and a goldfish mom are not a pretty combination, you might want to save yourself while you still can. Jessie and JaneHeaven knows I won’t remember to warn you about the slippery bathroom floor!




11 comments on “Anarchist 2.0 and the Goldfish

  1. Julie says:

    Oh the JOYS of little ones.

  2. Mammaflybox says:

    Cute:) We call our almost 3 yr old ‘wreck it Ralph’. 🙂 They are so fun though!

    • Jessie says:

      Perfect name! They are fun, I had just Jane this afternoon and she worked outside with me until she fell asleep while eating a cookie! It was a good day (of course there is much less to wreck outside…)

  3. It does not end at age four. When your children get to be teenagers, never own a car that you cannot walk away from without a look back.

  4. Beyond awesome! Sooo true! Today while I had breakfast, my 2 year old hid around the other side of the table, blissfully spreading the last of the flour all over the floor. Think I noticed? Nope! Totally relate to goldfish brain!

    • Jessie says:

      Their devious aren’t they? Sneaking around their poor goldfish brained mothers like that- how can they be so quiet when they are causing trouble anyway? I can tell you that a three year old can “paint” an entire tube of chapstick onto a door frame without making a single incriminating sound!

  5. […] I was worried about so much as the vase, an as of yet unbroken wedding gift.   I refer you to The Anarchist 2.0 and the Goldfish to refresh your memory as to the nature of my concern. But I’ll give you a […]

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