Jessie’s Tip Of The Day
If you want to catch raccoons in a live trap use marshmallows. Marshmallows are non-messy, non-stinky, and any extra can be eaten on your way back from the live trap and few animals other than raccoons are willing to crawl into a scary cage for a little, white, sugary pillow.
Because…if your daughter ate all the marshmallows and you end up using canned dog food, even though you know it’s a terrible idea, then you’ll probably catch a possum early in the night. After evicting the possum with it’s weird clingy toes from the trap your mother will “helpfully” run off with the flashlight to scare it away. Instead she may accidentally chase, it at twelve times the speed a possum normally travels, three quarters of the way around the house back toward the trap you are resetting for the marauding raccoon. Making the chances of your raccoon trap being successful much lower.
In conclusion, hide your marshmallows from the kids and never let your mother hold your flashlight.
P.S. My mom would like you to know she had to edit this for me.
P.P.S. She’s a much better editor than flashlight holder.