Ultimate Insult

May1

Near the end of a long and difficult evening Clara looked up at me with a face full of frustration, pulled herself up tall, swelled up her chest and said:

“Well, Dad makes better pancakes than you!”

Please note, this is NOT the look Clara was giving me this evening!

Which is true.

Once we were done with our “pancake discussion” I laughed my way downstairs and made a batch of this (http://ourladyofsecondhelpings.com/2012/02/02/super-bowl-snacks-sugar-and-spice-popcorn/) Sugar and Spice popcorn.

I’m planning on saving her some.

Any girl who can make me laugh (though she certainly didn’t intend to) after such an evening is worthy of a popcorn treat tomorrow.

Who needs pancakes?

Besides, when Clara is “discussing” things with her Dad she might need to know that her Mom makes way better popcorn than he does!

Some Little Rotter

Feb6

Clara tiptoed down the stairs one evening after bedtime and had this very serious conversation with John:

Clara: Dad?

John: Yes?

Clara: There’s somethin’ yellow in my bed – I think it’s pee.

John: Is it wet?

Clara: Yes.

John: Did you pee in your bed?

Clara: No. – I think some little rotter pee’d in my bed.

John sighed and herded Clara back up the stairs while I tried to stifle a serious giggling fit.

Much sooner than expected John returned with is report:

No pee.

Nothing wet.

And it was true, some of the polka-dots printed on her sheets were indeed yellow.

Three Little Rotters

Apparently when the one more hug/glass of water/trip to the bathroom ploy failed to work Clara decided she needed to step up the creativity!

Weekly Photo Challenge: Distorted

Mar7

Weekly Photo Challenge: Distorted

On Friday Ivy didn’t want John to put her to bed, she wanted me to do it. John gave Ivy a very polite explanation of why he would be taking over the bedtime routine for the weekend. They counted the days of the week that John worked as he pointed out that I get to put the girls to bed four nights a week while John only gets three. They talked about the days of the week some more and concluded with the fact that John would be putting them to bed Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

On Saturday night John made the get ready for bed announcement and Ivy said “But I want Mom to put me to bed.” and John patiently talked through the whole thing with her again.

On Sunday night it happened again.

On Monday afternoon John said goodbye to the girls on the way out the door and Ivy burst out with, “BUT DAD, I want YOU to put me to bed tonight!”

John laughed.

I laughed harder.

Ivy wanted to know why.

Life through the eyes of a five year old- it’s distorted.

Bedtime Conversation

Sep16

In honor of having working internet but no actual time to do extended fun blogging things today I thought I’d relay a conversation with Ivy.

This conversation occurred at bedtime sometime in the last few weeks. John and I were in the kitchen and Ivy was at the top of the stairs out of sight while Ivy and I carried on this very serious conversation after she was supposed to be in bed. John scribbled down the conversation while attempting to suppress his laughter.

It went like this…

Ivy: I need you!

Me: What do you want?

Ivy: I just need three things. (Now keep in mind I couldn’t see Ivy but from her tone of voice if I could have seen her she would have been looking exasperated and gesticulating with both arms by this point)

Me: What are they?

Ivy: Well…first thing is…..

I need you.

The third thing is….what about the rain.

The last thing is…. why is Dad fixin’ the lawnmower?

Yeah, just those three things.

Hooray for working technology cross your fingers it stays this way!!!

Bedtime

Sep4

Clara is almost two and her language is exploding, in the last week she started saying two word phrases and adding new words to her vocabulary everyday. I never know what she’s going to come out with, some of her phrases are totally new and catch me off guard like “shower curtain.” Whereas others are just combo’s of some of her common words such as, “duck poop.” But no matter what the words, the really fascinating thing is how quickly she can incorporate her new phrases into delay tactics at bedtime. In fact I think it’s possible she has so quickly expanded her vocabulary just to try and stay up a few minutes later.

Just days into two word phrases she now has all the typical tactics down.

It starts with:

” ‘Nother Book?” and once I leave the room moves quickly to:

“WATER MOM!”

From their we head to:

“POOP POTTY!” (Always a large dilemma for the potty training stage. Is it a fake? Is it a false alarm? Is it for real? How can you tell?)

If the girls don’t quiet down when they should the hall light goes off which has always been accompanied by lots of yelling, whining and now new shouts of:

“LIGHT ON!”

As skilled as she is in the delay tactics of the world for better or worse she has one of those mean mothers who doesn’t bend much a bedtime, until she pulls out the big guns…