House Breaking vs. Potty Training

Jane is in the final phase of potty training. If she were a puppy it would be the time when they occasionally have accidents in the house and it’s usually your fault. Because even though they ask to go out most of the time sometimes they are just too distracted so you still have to be the one to pay attention or you’ll have another pee spot on the carpet. Trip and Sunday puppies

But I was talking about potty training kids, Jane in particular. So I should say that this is the time when she occasionally has accidents and it’s usually all my fault. Because even though she goes all by herself most of the time, sometimes she is just too distracted so I still have to be the one to pay attention or I’ll have another pee spot in a terrible and ridiculous place.Storm puppy

Which is the main way potty training children is different than housebreaking dogs. (That and kennels. I hardly ever use kennels with the kids.) When a puppy has an accident it pees on the carpet. The only time it won’t pee on the carpet is when it goes on a rug but this will only happen if the rug is so large that it won’t fit into the washing machine. A phenomenon that is annoying but at least predictable.Digby puppy

Jane, has accidents in more unusual places. We hadn’t had one in two days until she crawled inside a locker at the pool.  Cleaning carpets has none of the embarrassing factors that weaving through a mass of moms and kids in various states of undress with gobs of pee soaked paper towel does. And for that, I love puppies.Trip and Sunday puppies

Another two days accident free and Jane, dissatisfied with the five unoccupied chairs, crawled onto the dining room table to play with the Legos. And then flooded it all. Pee on the table. Pee on the centerpiece. Pee on the chairs. Pee on the Legos. Pee on Jane. No pee on the please-sign-up-to-bring-stuff-to-the-fall-party-sheet Ivy brought home from school. A puppy would have peed on the carpet and then eaten that paper, saving me lots of trouble. And for that, I love puppies.

Bucky and Piper

 

And yes, of course, I love Jane too, even when she pees in really terrible places. (I’m not even going to tell you about the poop – your welcome for that.) I was even going to put pictures of her in this post but then I was having too much fun finding puppy pictures! 

 

Melts In Your Mouth…

Poor Jane.

She came to me, M&M in hand, bemoaning the fact that it did indeed melt in her hand, not in her mouth.

Jane went on to explain that since the first was clearly defective she would like another to replace it.

Sadly, in this world you can’t make it to your second birthday before you learn the realities of marketing ploys and the even harsher news about reading the “fine print”.

Because, as I explained to her, even if the “not in your hand” part of the slogan were a true warranty I’m certain that the fine print on such a thing would ensure that any moisture on the M&M would render the entire warranty null and void.melts in your mouth not in your hand

I then went on to clarify that, yes, sucking on it and spitting it back out numerous times does constitute “moisture” on the M&M.

And so she was left with her unsatisfactory M&M situation until the next time she uses her potty chair.

Poor Jane.