“Well Granny,” asks Uncle Jim, “after 94 years, what have you learned?”
“It’s hard work to get to be 94 years old.”
Happy Birthday Granny!
You make all that hard work look good.
I had a glass of water until a cat took it.
Unlike a dog there were no liquid eyes begging for a drink.
The cat just claimed my water glass and dared me to oppose her.
Brazenly, sitting on the table, repeatedly dunking her paw and licking it off.
As if there weren’t multiple bowls of water for the cats and dogs scattered around the house.
I had a glass of water.
And then a cat took it.
My cousin taught Ivy and I how to make deer hunter candy this weekend.
Only handed out to deer hunters during the gun season, the recipe is simple: equal parts of four ingredients, covered in chocolate, cut into slices and wrapped in wax paper.
We made the traditional treat together laughing and snitching bits as we did so and then, of course, we had to sample the final product. We wouldn’t want to give all those cold hunters a sub-par product.
I ate a few pieces but I still remember Grandma telling me I wasn’t to take any candy, it was only for the hunters. She didn’t reprimand often and her corrections stuck. I still had a twinge of guilt when popping a piece into my mouth and it came with memories of Grandma’s scolding so vivid I could taste them on my tongue.
Some people scoff at tradition but I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who tasted memories when we handed out that peanut butter treat.
I don’t remember wanting to be a writer as a kid. No keeping dairies, at least not for more than a day or two, or writing stories or anything else that required spelling.
But today my cousin and I spent hours going through old photo albums and letters from my grandparents house and there was a little story I wrote to them.
I feel that in defense of my spelling it’s important to note that Grandma taught me Finnish words out of a Richard Scary book. Hevonen is the Finnish word for horse and, while google translate doesn’t think cowpoy is Finnish for cowboy, I clearly did. The only word I actually spelled wrong was hevonen and that’s far better than I’ve done so far on this post tonight. As far as my formatting, that was clearly done by typewriter and I’m not sure I ever figured out how that worked.
Maybe I have always liked telling stories. I’ve forgotten a lot in the last 38 years, (Like what year my brother was married and, apparently, how to spell married). I could have forgotten that too. It’s completely possible. And thank all that is good and true in this world for word processors and spell check.
You know the satisfied “Ha!” right?
Not a “Ha!” that’s funny but a “HA! You inanimate object, you thought you could best me, but I won anyway!”
Today I looked at my chicken coop and my duck house parked just where I wanted them for the winter and said, “HA!”
Have you ever backed up a hay wagon using a lawn tractor that’s articulated in the middle through an orchard into a small clearing at the edge of a woods?
Well, backing it up I think works something like this…
…but I’m not super sure. Trying to keep track of all those moving parts while avoiding all the trees turned my brain into a puddle.
But, I still know how to say: