Crazy?

Nov14

This last weekend the family gathered in Pewaukee for an “Early 2011 Holiday Meal” with Granny and Gramps before they head down to Florida. I brought a ham for dinner, my Mom made twice baked potatoes, John brought the wine, and Tyler showed up with this:

Someone should probably explain to Tyler what is and is not acceptable as a hostess gift.

After taking lots of pictures,Tyler graciously gave this deer to John and I. Since this is Tyler’s second deer of the year, and we are out of venison we happily accepted his offer. The deer was well photographed, hung in the garage and we all went and had our “Early 2011 Holiday Meal” The food was delicious, the company was not bad (considering we were all related) and soon it was time for the fun to be over and the girls to head to bed.

That’s when Tyler got a look that was a little like this:

Suddenly at 9:30 on a Saturday night after eating far too much delicious food I found myself sitting at my parents kitchen counter butchering a deer while listening to a conversation about how the family isn’t crazy we just are more interesting, or fun, or something that was attempting to justify the fact that we were spending our night putting meat into little white packages. All the while John is pulling out knives and grinders he is yelling that we made him crazy, claiming that he used to be perfectly happy watching movies or playing cards and that our family had ruined him.

I’m not sure if we are crazy or just know how to have a good time, but it was a memorable night full of laughter and I’ve got freezer full of venison again.

Can’t complain about any of that!

Computers

Nov8

You can’t live with ’em and you just can’t shoot ’em.

Or maybe that was men.

Either way I’m still hating computers… except for when I love them.

Or maybe that is men?

Right now I sort of hate them.

Computers.

Not men, or really man, before I get myself in trouble with John.

John is good.

Love him.

Hate the computers.

Now that we’ve got that straight…

Our regular computer died.

Again.

Again it seems to be a terminal issue.

I’m thinking of shooting it but I can’t get Trip interested enough to point it.

We do have a backup computer now, which is great and I love.

Except for when I hate it.

The problem is the back up computer is old.

It has four USB ports.

I have 76 things that would like a USB port.

One of them is my cameras card reader.

But even if I mange to get that into a port it completely freaks out the computer.

As in constant beeping while the mouse cursor jiggles it’s way across the screen full scale computer freak out.

Why a computer would do that is beyond me, maybe Trip would point this one…

But then I would be cut off from the internet and I’d have to go cry and we don’t want that.

In the meantime I think I’ll go make a wish on an empty Diet Coke can.

I hear that’s what you do when you are out of Diet Coke on a rainy day and you desperately need the Diet Coke fairy to come deliver a fresh one.

I think I’ll look for an empty Milky Way bar wrapper while I’m at it…

Scattered

Nov6

Apparently I’ve turned into a scatter brained mother.

I’m blaming it on my kids.

It’s the only explanation I can come up with. I never used to have a focusing problem, well except when I was supposed to be writing a paper or studying for some giant test and would instead decide that I HAD to clean my room first. But that wasn’t a focus problem, more like an evasion technique. I very much enjoy having time to work on one project and keep working on it until it is done. It is one of the things I MISS in my life since having children. I used to eat meals hours late just so I could finish up what I was doing and check another job of the list. So explain to me this morning…

This morning I am blissfully alone, John is out sitting in a tree with a friend and the girls are at their grandparents. I got to sleep in, although just to what time I got to sleep in is hard to say what with Daylight Savings Time messing with life again, but that’s a whole different story.Then I decided I should make some sweet potato muffins for breakfast so that there would be some to share when John and his friend finally get blown out of their trees and until they got here I would work on one of my Christmas presents I’m making.

So I…

-checked the computer and found it was stalled out

-restarted the computer

-started water for tea

-started fire

-checked on computer

-preheated oven

-made tea

-checked fire

-did outside chores

-ate leftovers for breakfast while checking e-mail

-remembered the muffins and the preheated oven

-got half the ingredients ready

-realized I hadn’t fed the dogs

-fed the dogs

-let the dogs out

-washed three dishes

-continued making the muffins

-let Piper back in

-put the muffins in a tin without little paper liners, (why I do not know, I love paper liners, muffins should always have paper liners)

-washed three more dishes

-remembered the project

-sat down on the computer to look up directions

-wrote a blog about how I can’t focus

So back to the children, here is my theory. After multiple years of being unable to focus on any one thing for more than three minutes without hearing; “MOM,” unidentified screaming, or “Guess What?” I think it’s now just become habit that I must completely change direction in what I am doing every few minutes whether I need to or not.

Good thing we are picking the girls up tonight so tomorrow morning when it takes me 2 hours to make breakfast I’ve got a good excuse.

Now what was I going to do?

A Rare Day

Nov1

It’s a gorgeous day outside, sunny, warm, little wind, a rare treat for the first of November.

Even more rare was my urge to clean the kitchen, so I’ve been missing out on the beautiful weather to accomplish this:

Those of you who are perfectionists are probably wondering why there are still cobwebs, a back tag hanging above the sink, dirt chunks on the floor, a hole under the counter where a dishwasher should be and why we still have a counter that was chewed on by a certain Great Dane puppy many years ago.

Those of you who saw my house yesterday probably fell down in shock at the expanse of white counter top visible, pre-chewed or not!

I always run into a problem when I do a major clean, there are just some things there are no good spots for.

The binos, they live next to the microwave. Do we need 3 pairs there? No. Do I have any other place to put them? No.

The oatmeal doesn’t fit in any of the cupboards so it stays on the counter along with the deep fryer.

And then there is the bowl of miscellaneous small items. Screws from the dove cage the girls ripped out that haven’t gotten fixed, tiny bits of hardware for the ice maker water line, and the cat skull that I re-found behind the microwave.

Sometimes my life makes me wonder.

Just as I was beginning to think it was completely ridiculous that I had a cat skull hiding behind the microwave Ivy saw the skull again and said, “MOM that’s really cool! Is that a cat skull?”

Then the two of us had a conversation about what cats eat, (Eyes in front likes to hunt.) what holds teeth in, why skulls are hard and if Granny would like to see it.

Now I’m no longer wondering, we may have some unorthodox adornments in our house but it’s worth it!

(If you are wondering where the skull came from no need to worry it wasn’t a family pet, it was the remains of the cat in Confessions Of A Lawn Hater.)

Oh The Irony

Oct31

Last year I posted about my hatred of Halloween.

This year I’ve had close to 600 views of my “Halloween Hater” post from people searching for pumpkin carving patterns.

Oh the irony…

This year I still hate Halloween.

First of all I hate Halloween because I can still never spell it right on the first try.

Secondly I hate it this year because I’ve completely lost my voice today.

Here is what I can report about being voiceless:

-Screamfree parenting is one thing… parenting in whispers and hand signals is too much.

-Puppies do not stop chewing on toys when you whistle, clap or stomp at them across the house.

-Small children do not stop coloring on your new drywall that got installed YESTERDAY when you whistle, clap or stomp at them across the house.

-“They” say that if you talk quite others around you will lower their voice to match yours.

-“They” lie.

Lost voice aside, other preparations for my least favorite holiday are going…… well they are going.

A few weeks ago we made some fun lanterns for the table.

This weekend we did some pumpkin carving.

Now with the big day finally here there are costume wars going on. Decisions made in the last weeks are suddenly not OK and fights are cropping up. Meanwhile I try to whisper alternatives and peace making strategies and, in a moment of something decidedly not screamfree parenting even without a voice, threaten to cancel trick or treating for my children altogether.

Because if we are all being honest, I’m only in it to steal their candy and I bet I could get a big bag on sale at Wal-Mart tomorrow for at lot less trouble!

Right On Schedule

Oct25

Almost a year ago I wrote about Ivy and the “Art Guilt” I was suffering from. The problem resolved itself rather well in the last year. Ivy stopped drawing people, got into coloring books (which no matter how nicely she colors I have no problem getting rid of after a few days) and when she makes crafts at the library story time she likes to give them away to friends – perfect.

Today I’m worried the problem may be returning, she’s back to people, and now they have accessories.

Look: it’s me, with a river, grass, two anklets, a necklace, a bracelet and a pretend Ivy swimming in the river.

What do you think another year and I’ll get pants?

Now if you’ll recall my plan for last years art work was, “…go put them some place stupid, lose them, forget about them and probably find them years in the future having been eaten by mice. ” When I went to add this picture to the others I discovered I’m right on schedule… I’ve lost them.

“Meself”

Oct20

There comes a point around age two when kids want to do it all their selves, or in Clara’s case “meself”.

And we are there, oh boy, are we ever there.

Clara was a bit under the weather yesterday. So after she helped me make lunch by pouring the ingredients in “meself” we went up stairs to read books which she picked out “meself.” After books it was time for her nap and since she was feeling rotten I spent a little extra time snuggling with her and rubbing her back. All of a sudden she rolled over and said “No Mom, rub back meself.” and proceeded to try to rub her own back. I asked if she was sure that’s what she wanted to do. She assured me that it was and very seriously informed me that “Mayme later Mom” I could rub her back again.

No doubt about it my little girl is two, oh boy is she ever…

A Long Time Ago…

Oct18

… in a galaxy far, far away…

No really, it was actually just in Stevens Point Wisconsin and it wasn’t that long ago.

My husband, who at the time was nothing more than the guy with the crazy hair and the cute smile…

…that I’d have liked to have been dating but wasn’t yet, was swimming really, really fast. Fast enough that even though, we weren’t dating yet I have never been allowed to live down the fact that I did not attend the national meet that year to watch his 400 medley relay win for the second year in a row re-breaking their own national record.

When you factor in the other fantastic swimming (and diving) that went on that year that earned their team of six men fourth place overall…

…well it doesn’t seem to matter that nothing more than a bit of pool side flirting had gone on between us yet, I’m in trouble for life.

This last weekend we were again in Stevens Point joined by many family and friends to watch John and his fellow relay members get inducted into the Stevens Point Athletic Hall of Fame. It was pretty awesome, big banquet, video presentation for each inductee, a chocolate cake on every table, the works. At the end of the night he walked out with a gigantic smile on his face, and this to hang on his wall…

Photo enlarged to show detail.

In actuality the big fancy award went to the coach since they were a team and they each got… well, something to take home, but that not the point. The point is they were an awesome relay of guys, it was great to see everyone for the weekend and even better to see them get to stand up, relive a bit of the “glory days” and get recognized for what they had done. The other notable point is that after a weekend of fun with old friends (which followed the previous weekends Alumni meet with even more old friends) I think we need at least another week to recover!!!

Happy Birthday Sarah

Oct17

Today is my friend Sarah’s birthday.

Therefore I’d like to take the opportunity to tell you all that she’s pretty darn cool.

How cool? So cool that we have managed to remain friends for twenty three years. Twenty three years that have not always been easy years to keep a friendship going, but we have. Over the years the obstacles have changed but we’ve still manged to be there for each other the whole way through.

In second grade Sarah moved to Pewaukee and ended up in my class. It didn’t take long before we became friends and up until fourth grade life was easy. Our main challenge to overcome was whether or not Sarah had vacuumed yet and if she was grounded or not. Sarah was grounded a lot. For a girl that seemed pretty good, she must have been a terror behind closed doors.

In fourth grade she and another friend decided they hated me. You would think this was a large obstacle, but due to a fortuitous combination of my being stubborn, unable to take a hint, and my lack of other friends, I hung in there and we came out the other end friends again.

From fourth grade on to high school my swimming schedule threw a monkey wrench in things. Swimming a half hour away from home every night, plus practice and/or meets on weekends kept me busy in the pool. Fortunately Sarah still had a lot of vacuuming (amongst other activities) to keep her busy and we manged to stay fast friends.

Then things got tricky. In the summer between sophomore and junior year of high school Sarah and her family moved to Canada. Many tears later, chat rooms were discovered and we spent hours keeping in touch while jumping around rooms to avoid anyone who might intrude on our conversations. I attribute my typing speed and abilities completely to those years, unfortunately for my spelling, Sarah was a champ at figuring out my interesting words. To this day it’s a good thing that I have spell check, and a husband to tell my how to spell obstacle when all spell check can come up with for my typed word is obstetrics.

Sarah moved back to Wisconsin in college and joined me at UW-Stevens Point – it was a good time. We lived together for two straight years with only one spat the entire time (don’t move my bed, it turns out I hate that) and had more fun than is prudent to mention on a blog my family reads. By the end of college we were closer than ever and husbands were on the way.

Turns out husbands are no big deal. They are understanding of our friendship, get along great and suddenly we had four people for card games. If ever we needed some girl time we could always easily get rid of the boys by waving a video game in front of them.

Not too long after the husbands became official we each had a kid and only two months apart we pretty much entered into motherhood together. While it was harder to chat and visit with two kids around other than one very memorable and exhausting trip where Ivy learned that if she yelled “MINE” it would cause Natalie to freak out, they have gotten along remarkably well.

But, now there are more, our second kids are four months apart, and Sarah’s third trails them by a bit over a year. Now when we get together our weekend seems to consist solely of feeding kids, breaking up fights, putting them to sleep, and waiting for them to wake back up while trying not to drown in a sea of toys. Once this summer someone asked when we were all visiting together if Sarah and I had fun… Umm yeah… Wait was Sarah there? Yeah I think we had fun, I don’t know I have to call her later and talk so I can find out…

Things aren’t as easy as they used to be. I continue to have trouble getting away from the animals in the summer while Sarah works during the school year. We may spend quite a bit more time wondering if the weekend we just spent together was “fun” or exhausting and as the kids grow we will continue to cross our fingers they’ll remain friends, or at least friendly. In the meantime we’ll continue to have phone conversations squashed in between the rest of life, and be thankful for free mobile to mobile minutes.

While I’m always sad when we can’t spend a birthday or other important event together, it’s good to be able to look back at a lifetime of friendship and know that this challenging time will also pass. Lately we’ve been talking of a husband-less/kid-less trip when we turn forty. And who knows, one day we’ll probably end up sharing a room at an old folks home. One day we’ll be celebrating our birthdays together again even if we are no longer sure how old we are!

Happy Birthday Sarah!

One of Those Days

Oct12

You know those days when you lose your sheep… …but you don’t know it until your neighbor calls to say they are in his yard but he can’t help you because he’s going to the dentist and then you have to walk them home through the fields with a two year old on your shoulders a bucket of corn in your hand while cajoling your four year old the whole way and then when you’re almost home the two year old grabs the electric fence while you are holding her other hand, which is an effective way to test the fencer but a really bad idea and then when you get all the way home you find out that your most wonderful dog has eaten a gigantic pile of dog food out of the bin while you were gone because some innocent looking girl… … left the pantry door open and the lid off the dog’s food and after puking the dog and monitoring her water all day and listing to the request of “Dammit Mom I need some ketchup please.” and loading sheep to take to the butcher in the dark, your husband asks if you want some help putting the girls to bed and the combination of the day and the rampant hormones and the lack of sleep from the night before sends you off into something that’s like hysterical laughter but maybe is just hysterics, you know those days?