Reason #49 We Do A Lot Of Laundry…

What do you get when an unattended two year old wanders into a bathroom and finds a large bottle of conditioner with a pump top and a cat litter box?

Nothing that looks like this. Well, the two year old was the same but other than that it was a much less angelic scene.

Nothing that looks like this. Well, the two year old was the same but other than that it was a much less angelic scene.

A mess.

One that is too disgusting to describe but gets the two year old the extra shower she had been begging for all night.

You also get…

Reason #65 the girl takes more showers than I do.

Reason #42 that once again our new bar of soap is down to a sliver.

Reason #12 I’m very glad I clean the cat litter box every day.

Reason #22 Jane has silky smooth hair.

Reason #1 that I mopped my bathroom floor today!

And, of course –

Reason #49 we do a lot of laundry.

Xander’s Panda Party by Linda Sue Park and Matt Phelan

“Xander planned a panda party…”

And even though it caused him “…great pains and perspiration” not to mention “consternation,” my kids loved Xander’s “celebration” with all it’s “conversation” “participation” and “jubilation.”

Fortunately, between the excellent vocabulary and fantastic rhyming, not to mention the ridiculously cute illustrations, their mother was happy to read it to them the 102 times it was requested.

Would I recommend it? Yes! It’s got everything I wish for in a kids book. (For some of my criteria you can check out this old post Pick A Good One, O Best Beloved. Ivy no longer stutters but I still feel the same about children’s books.)

Phew

Last week when talking about seat belt safety Clara interrupted, “Yes, but Mom I already know that you should never jump in a sharks mouth or put your finger in a tigers mouth or…”

This week Ivy told her friend and I that the only things that makes her nervous are, “…large predators that could kill me…” When her friend asked what a predator was she happily informed her “You know, stuff like bears and wolves and…”Ivy and bear

I’m not sure where this is all coming from, (because to answer my cousin, no, I have not been reading them Peter Capstick stories) but it seems I have accidentally imparted upon my girls a considerable respect for large toothy creatures.

Which is good.

I’ll never have to worry about Clara jumping into a sharks mouth (at least on purpose) and Ivy will not be the kid who tries to cuddle with a bear.

I can just cross those items right off my list of motherly worries.

Phew.

I Love it!

I have already irritated countless friends, relatives and strangers at the grocery store with my happiness but I just can’t stop myself. Every time I hear a complaint about the weather it just bursts out and I am compelled to announce to everyone that-

I love this winter!

It’s been cold!  Real cold, the kind that makes your cheeks sting, the inside of your nose freeze and your eyelashes freeze together. We live in Wisconsin-winter should be cold.

I love it!

It’s been snowy! Every few days we get another inch or so. I would of course be happier if we got eight inches instead of one but I’m not going to complain because it’s beautiful. Waking up to snow coating the world -it’s a special winter magic.

I love it!

Which brings me to another thing I love. In the winter I can see the sun rise and not hate the entire world. Tomorrow the sun will rise at 7:20. That’s not my favorite time but I do recognize that it is a reasonable time to be awake. Sunrises are pretty when they are illuminating fresh snow and you don’t hate the world.

I love it!Winter sunrise

Please don’t hate me for saying so but this winter – I just love it!

The Future

When your job is a stay at home mom it’s a bit of a conversation stopper. Too many bodily fluids to be glamorous. Too many people do it to be unique. Too many interruptions from the kids to have a conversation about anything anyway.  No matter how important I feel my job is, there are certainly many who don’t actually see it as a “job” at all. And there is no denying that the longer I’m out of the “real” workforce, the more difficult it will become to ever get a “real” job that relates at all to what I once went to school for.

And I’m ok with that.

When I imagine my future, I see visions goats and orchards (and yes I know those are totally incompatible) rather than a 8 -5 work week. But, honestly, I don’t spend much time thinking about it. All my brain power is currently allocated to figuring out what to eat for dinner, how to keep the kids from strangling each other and desperately searching out small chunks of time to nap in.

Little did I know that my eldest does not share my laissez-faire attitude toward my future career. While enjoying a rare evening alone with Ivy, she brought the subject up.

Ivy: “So, what kind of job do you think you are going to do when we all get older and build our own houses.”

Me:” I’m not sure, I might have to wait and see. What do you think?”

Ivy: “Well… you wouldn’t have to get a job. You could just stay home and look at magazines and find things for us to buy in them.”

I wasn’t sure what to make of this. Does she think I need a job? Has Ivy joined the ranks of people who think I’ll be unqualified for anything once the kids were gone and so will be stuck looking at magazines? Does she think I would like to look at magazines all day? Has my child ever met me? And seriously, if I was looking at magazines all day, wouldn’t I be finding things for myself to buy? Unthrilled about this magazine suggestion of hers, I mentioned the possible acquisition of goats. Ivy met my life long wish for goats with her very best six year old version of well-if-you-think-so-but-that’s-actually-a-ridiculous-idea “Okaay…”

Card game over we headed out to get ourselves an ice cream treat. As I pulled out of the driveway, mind still half on my future life, Ivy, still ecstatic to be the only child for the evening, had a new game for us to play.

Ivy: “I know let’s be rock stars!”

Me: “Ok, how do we do that.”

Ivy: “Well, you just have to be really cool.”

Me: “Aren’t we already cool?”

Ivy: “Well… yeah!”

It’s true, I’ve got no blossoming career to look forward to, no dream job that was put on hold while the kids grew up. But at a moment in time where my little girl thinks I’m “really cool” the goats and magazines will have to wait.Ivy

And I’m ok with that.

The Heist by Janet Evanovich and Lee Goldburg

I am always excited to find a new Janet Evanovich book on the shelves. This one has a new co-author, is the start of a new series and possibly my new favorite of her books!

Would I recommend it? Yes! It’s a super fun, light, easy read and while not as laugh out loud funny as her Stephanie Plum books, it’s also not quite so frivolous. John and I were both surprised by how much we liked it!

Dinner Time Logic

The two new cats have integrated themselves into the family surprisingly well and our evenings have been restored to their former peacefulness marked by a different furry creature sprawled out fast asleep on any available surface.

Until I think about feeding them.

Not when I start scooping food. No, long before that they use their super animal senses to determine that my sneaky herding of animals into different areas had to do with FOOD and suddenly I’m surrounded by the churning chaos of hungry animals.Gypsy

And then I’m in trouble.

John is still recovering and, lets face it, at this point he’s more like the furry animals sleeping on the couch than an able-bodied assistant.  So it’s just me and the hungry hoard. And trying to figure out how to make four-legged dinner time run smoothly reminds me of the logic problems I used to love solving as a kid. You know the ones that said, “If Tommy is wearing blue hat, and Gretta has a cat, what does Mable love?”   If I made one for the house it would look like this:

You are feeding Gyspy, the calico kitten, Cassie, the grey kitten, Fiona, the tortoiseshell cat, Storm, the brown hairy dog, and Trip the orange and white spotted dog.

All the animals’ food is in the basement.

The cats can not be blocked out of the basement.

Storm will steal any unattended food.

Storm will take Fiona’s food even if she is there.

Trip will not eat by himself.

The kittens will convince Trip they are feline killers and steal his food.

The dogs will sit and stay and wait.

The cats will not.

Fiona eats different food from the kittens.

Storm and Trip eat the same food.

Trip eats slower than Storm.

The cats eat slower than the dogs.

Cats magically multiply when they are twining your ankles meowing.

It is very difficult to carry two cats at once without bleeding.

Jessie does not want to bleed.Trip

What color is the animal who eats first, and where does it eat?

Hint: Never feed the salamanders while the cats are in the room.

One More Thing

At bed time there is always one more thing.

Clara: “Mom I have one more really good thing to tell you. … You know what shouldn’t be in here? Saws.”

Me: “Saws? Do you have a saw in here?!”

Clara: “No.”

Me: “Well, that’s good, we don’t need to worry about it tonight then – goodnight!”

Clara: “But, if there was a saw and it was under the bed…”

Me: “Goodnight!”Clara and Cassey

There is always one more thing at bed time.

Stone Soup

We’ve always involved the kids in the kitchen and while it is true that the new stirrers make giant messes, and the new choppers need extra knife supervision and they all make the kitchen 12 times more messy that it would be otherwise, it’s been mostly worth it.

Because, despite the frustratingly slow rate at which the giant mess and the meal gets made, cooking with the kids is usually an enjoyable experience. And now, all that mess and extra time is starting to pay off. I have girls that can grate cheese and stir without spilling. Kids that peel garlic and chop onions and one girl who is really good at making piles of flour and then slowly transferring the entire pile to her shirt and the floor.

But the best part is that they are now starting to take initiative in the kitchen. Ivy has (with help on the heavy pots) cooked dinner for us, Clara can be found making her own peanut butter and jelly sandwich and Jane can turn a giant pot of perfectly good turkey stock into stone soup.Stone Soup

Mostly worth it.