If You Give A Kid A Tape Measure…

If you give a kid a tape measure she’ll want to measure the chickens.

When the chickens won’t hold still she’ll decide to measure her boot instead.

When she is measuring her boot by the flowers you might ask her to pose in front of them.

Being asked to hold still will remind her that there are flowers to be picked.

After she picks a flower she’ll need to swing it around crazily hitting herself in the face.

When she is done mangling the flower she’ll want to give it to you.

It’s possible that then her older sister will come home and when she finds the tape measure again it’ll be all fighting and tears between the two of them until you take it away.

The End

A Word From Jane

Mar20

Jane’s a bit grumpy.

It has come to her attention that she is in fact the third child and her mother never takes pictures of her.

I tried to tell her that it’s because I’m always holding her or she’s sleeping, making pictures either difficult or boring but she was having none of it. She told me she does plenty of interesting things and if I don’t start taking more photos and sharing them she’s never going to sleep through the night.

So without further ado, Jane at (almost) three months!

She laughs… …and say’s “oooo”… … has funny hair…… and enjoys a good arm chew with her sister. Now Jane, about that sleep?

Did I Just Say What I Thought I Said? III

Mar19

Most recently in exclamations that shouldn’t have to be exclaimed we have:

“DON’T LAY ON THE DUCKS!”

Ducks today after thunderstorm, look at all the green and budding trees!

The biggest difference in today’s edition is that this was not yelled at a kid.

It was yelled at the dog.

A certain brown and white spotted dog who is endeavoring to be perfect but keeps doing things like laying on ducks which is preventing him from achieving that golden pedestal at the moment.

Trip and the ducks (in particular the two in the front of the photo) have been playing since he was a puppy.

Trip playing with ducks last November.

(Yes, my hunting dog plays with the domestic waterfowl. Why don’t you just go ahead and get all those snotty comments out of your system now, I know you want to.)

When Trip was a puppy they would chase each other around the yard and every now and then he’d manage to jump on one and wrestle with it puppy style before it would escape and waddle away, only to come running back to tweak his tail.

Now they still run and chase but I’m a bit more worried about duck damage. Trip jumps on a duck, lays down on top of it to hold it still and then “gently” chews on his victim, er, playmate.

Which is how I found myself in the yard yelling, “DON’T LAY ON THE DUCKS!”

Not exactly the concise sort of command a dog trainer recommends, but it works fine.

Must be something about the tone of my voice…

This Moment -Communing With Caterpillar

Mar16

A Friday ritual . A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Mirror by Jeannie Baker

Mar14

First off if you go find this book don’t be like me. Don’t pick it up, open it and think that it must be defective because there are no pages. Be smarter than me, be more like Ivy, she can figure out how to open it, see:It opens from the middle out… very tricky.

The book follows two boys, (the boy on the left lives in Sydney Australia and the one on the right lives in Morocco) as they go about their day.

Designed to be looked at together it requires a lot of space to open it all up, but it’s totally worth it.

The pictures that tell the story are amazing collages… …with unbelievable detail. Ivy and Clara didn’t really pick up much of the different culture, same life aspect but their interest in the pictures more than made up for it.

Would I recommend it? Yes, I’m hoping to remember this book again when the girls are a little older and can understand a bit more, but it was worth it just to check out the cool chickens!

Did I Just Say What I Thought I Said? II

Mar13

In today’s edition of “Did I Just Say What I Thought I Said?” we have a phrase which, in addition to being one of those things that:

A) shouldn’t have to be said in the first place,

B) shouldn’t have to be said by me and

C) that yelling out an open window of the house does not at all improve,

it also, sadly, is something we have addressed before.

NOOOO!!!!

Don’t poop in the yard!!!

The worst part of this is, of course, the aftermath.

Moving the perpetrator (or should I say poopetrator?) to the toilet.

Yard clean up.

The lengthy explanation to answer the ever present “WHY?” question.

My explanation was going so well I was starting to worry that Clara was never going to poop outside again. Which, given that I would like to take them camping, might not be great thing for the long run. So we talked about acceptable times and places to poop outdoors.

Finally a poop free girl headed back outside with Ivy as they walked through the door I heard:

“Me poop outside in hole. Me go do that.”

Now I’m sorta worried about the sandbox.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Contrast

Mar13

Weekly Photo Challenge: Contrast

If you were a stick in my yard this would be the beginning of the end.

Once the sky is blotted out by a large, hairy, monster it’ll be all dog breath and intense staring from then on.

All the way up until you are reduced to a pile of wood chips on someones foot.

Just a hint: Don’t pretend to be a stick in my yard.

Just another hint: Don’t touch any sticks in my yard unless you like wood chips on your feet.

City of Dragons by Robin Hobb

Mar12

If you’ve ever gone to my page of fiction books and looked around you’ll see that I’ve got nine posts of Robin Hobb’s which in total review eleven books and almost every one says that you should really read Assassins Apprentice. So I just thought I’d start this one out by saying it again.

You should read Assassins Apprentice.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way I’ve only one really important thing to say about this book.

Even though this is the 15th book of Robin Hobb’s that I have read, even though ALL the others came in sets of three, (you know a trilogy, the thing fantasy writers seem to love) this is not book three of a trilogy. This is book three of four.

I just thought I should warn you.

Would I recommend it? Yes, but I have I mentioned that you should read Assassins Apprentice?