Tag Archives: kids

Did I Just Say What I Thought I Said? XIV

It’s the fourteenth edition of “Did I Just Say What I Thought I Said?” in which I share phrases that I never thought:
 
A) Would ever need to be said in the first place,
B) that I would need to be the one to say them and
C) that I wouldn’t just be saying them, I’d be yelling them.
 

Today’s ridiculous, ineffective and only partially true edict?

There is NO furniture rearranging during dinner!!!

Yup, ridiculous, ineffective and untrue, obviously someone had been rearranging furniture.

Yet, these are the kinds of crazy things that come out of my mouth when the six year old shoves the seven foot long bench at the table down so that the four year old can’t reach her plate. But why, you ask, can’t the four year old reach her plate? Well, that’s because the bench was moved and so her plate was now nine inches to her right. This was an issue because, for the first time in her short life, instead of standing or bouncing or wandering while eating her dinner, she decided to glue her butt to the bench as she’s been repeatedly told. Also, apparently, she has alligator arms that are too short to reach nine inches and move her plate in front of her and her older sister knew it so that’s why she was smirking sitting on the end of the bench with no table in front of her.  So I, from the kitchen, hands covered in dough yelled about furniture rearranging and was met with blank stares – deservedly.

Then I threatened to cancel dessert.

The bench slid back into place and dinner resumed.

There may be people who can parent without the occasionally ridiculous decree- but I’m not one of them. And, you know, by this point, if things like this didn’t occasionally fly out of my mouth I’d probably wonder if I was still a parent.

Sorting the Hives

Neither of my bee hives made it though the winter.

Again.bee hives

To add another layer of insult, I’m pretty sure that I’m worse at overwintering hives now than I was when I started this whole apiary thing ten years ago.  It could be the genetics of the bees, it could be mites, it could be funky winter weather, or it could just be that I’m easily distracted by fluffy white flakes and warm fires and I’m a terribly inattentive winter bee keeper.bee hives

Next year, I tell myself once again, I will do things differently.bee hives

But for this year, there is nothing to be done but clean the hives in preparation for new bees.bee hives

I set the girls up and then watched from the sidelines as all three girls jumped into the project together.bee hives

They poked through the hives figuring out what happened (one starved, one froze), evicting the mice (serious excitement), comparing moldy bee colors, searching for the dead queen, and (helpfully) sorting the good frames from the bad.bee hives

Next year I’ll do better.bee hives

But this year, despite my dead bees, I couldn’t help but enjoy the process.

Do You Want A Donut?

Jane often wakes me up by telling me she wants to eat breakfast. I, never a morning person, shamelessly attempt any delay tactic I can think of in an effort to stay under the warm covers.

The other morning I was woken by her sweet little voice demanding breakfast and my foggy brain had an epiphany. Grandpa Moose had dropped off donuts the day before and there were a few left! Smug with the thought of extra time in bed and a happy donut-eating child, I asked in my best lure-the-children-to-the-van-with-candy voice, “Do you want a donut for breakfast?!?”

And then Jane, like all children, effortlessly popped my beautiful fantasy bubble.

“No. I want breakfast not a donut!”Jane

Out of bed I crawled to make her something totally responsible and appropriately breakfasty while I tried to determine if, with a response like that, I’m doing this parenting thing all right or totally wrong.

Busted!

It’s not always necessary to talk when having a “conversation” with Jane…

“Mom this smells like your favorite drink!

Mom, whats your favorite drink again?

Wait! … What is it called?

Oh right- caffeine.

What does caffeine smell like again?”tea

…but it’s always a good idea to listen because you can bet that she’s been listening to everything you say.

Also, in answer to your question Jane, I’m not sure that caffeine has a smell but if it did I’m pretty sure it would be just like heaven.

First Born

Ivy, our first child, had a brief moment in the spotlight of only child-hood before Clara came along.  Ivy

Clara arrived happily and then spent the first year and a half of her life projectile vomiting and screaming. It was a rough transition for everyone.Clara crying

Then, just when Clara stopped covering us all in vomit and our ears stopped ringing, Jane was born.Jane peering

Suddenly Ivy, the one who had known the status of only child (if only for a moment), was part of a commotion of children.

The girls, no park involved.

Ivy asks us questions and no one hears her. She complains that we interrupt her but she talks so quietly no one knew she was talking first. Ivy is begging to be heard. Clara and Ivy

And we try. We really do. But it’s, well, a commotion around here.

And, judging from her project she brought home from school, Ivy obviously thinks so too.If the whole world was listening what would you say?

Poor girl.

They’re Coming

Me: “Hey! How did you know that!?!”

Jane:” Because I’m going to know everything.”

Me: “How old do you think you’ll be when you know everything.”

Jane: “Probably… 14.”Jane

The teenage years are coming and I guess I can’t say she didn’t warn us.

This Moment – Lookin’ Around

A Friday ritual.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

John and Jane

In interest of full disclosure I feel compelled to share with you that this picture was not taken this week. It was taken last week. I’m sure there is no one other than me that finds that important. But now, when I look back on this in years to come, I’ll know that this was taken the first week of January and not the second and, clearly, that will make all the difference.