Tag Archives: kids

Melts In Your Mouth…

Poor Jane.

She came to me, M&M in hand, bemoaning the fact that it did indeed melt in her hand, not in her mouth.

Jane went on to explain that since the first was clearly defective she would like another to replace it.

Sadly, in this world you can’t make it to your second birthday before you learn the realities of marketing ploys and the even harsher news about reading the “fine print”.

Because, as I explained to her, even if the “not in your hand” part of the slogan were a true warranty I’m certain that the fine print on such a thing would ensure that any moisture on the M&M would render the entire warranty null and void.melts in your mouth not in your hand

I then went on to clarify that, yes, sucking on it and spitting it back out numerous times does constitute “moisture” on the M&M.

And so she was left with her unsatisfactory M&M situation until the next time she uses her potty chair.

Poor Jane.

She Picks Up An Item…

She picks up an item and puts it in a box.

A kid shows up.

That item has never looked so interesting before! In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before. And now, now, that it is half wrapped and buried amongst the rest of the contents of a cardboard box, it’s AMAZING! So why, does Mother insist I not touch it? Clearly she can not realize how amazing this never-before-seen item is! Probably if I took it out and showed to her she would realize – No… she does not realize.

She picks up an item and puts it in a box.

A kid shows up.

Panic! It’s a favorite-almost-forgotten-haven’t-seen-it-for-the-last-six-months-best-toy-ever! Why would she take away the best toy ever?! I haven’t seen it in ages and now it’s being packed away and it’s going to get lost again! Mother doesn’t care. This is an injustice of the highest order. No other more played with and previously favorite toys will ever do! I need the toy! Mother packs it anyway. I tell her we will never speak again!

She picks up an item and puts it in a box.

A kid shows up.

It is a boring item, it is her item. But wait! Why is mother not packing our things? Will we leave them behind? I know she said we are bringing everything but I also know we are not bringing the chewed on recliner or the refrigerator or the trees so what if my things are getting left behind too. Wait! ” Are we bringing my toys? Are we bringing my books? Are we bringing my toothbrush? Are we bringing the dogs?” Phew! Everything is coming.

She picks up an item and puts it in a box.

A kid shows up.

It’s a boring item. Packing is boring. Nothing is fun. I’m not getting enough attention. NO, I don’t want to pack my own box. NO, I don’t want to pack your box. NO, I don’t want to clean my room. NO, I don’t want to go play. I just want your attention!  I shall stomp to my room so she understands the full depth of my hatred of this packing.

She picks up an item and puts it in a box.

She picks up an item and puts it in a box.

She picks up an item and puts it in a box.

No kid shows up.

Concern.

Search.

Find.

But I just wanted to play with the stuff in the box! I NEED these things! I’ll pack it again later!!!

The mother is unsympathetic.

The kid is upset.

The Dad goes to work.

She picks up an item and puts it in a box.

A kid shows up…

Written in response to Prompts for the Promptless Season 2 Episode 11 -Qualia hosted by Queen Creative

Santa Eyes

I was contentedly driving down the road when from the backseat Ivy asked a question about another car’s blinker.  A lovely, educational conversation ensued about blinkers, how they work and why we use them. Then, as the topic was wrapping up, Ivy asked why it was still blinking after the car turned and kept driving.

I explained how blinkers usually turn themselves off after you turn or that you turn them off so you don’t confuse people and that even if it looked like it was still blinking as it went around the corner it was probably turned back off by now.

Ivy insisted she could see that the car still had it’s blinker on.

Now by this point we had driven close to a mile away from where we had seen the car with the blinker turn and that car was going in the opposite direction. The girl could not possibly still see the car much less check on it’s blinker status. This would also be the point where a smarter mother would have realized her daughter was just looking to disagree and let it slide. But my mothering skills are a work in progress so I foolishly pointed out that she didn’t know if the blinker on the car was still on because she couldn’t see it any more.

Wrong answer Mom.

Yes, she could still see it and it’s blinker was still on. Why was it STILL on?!

Slightly irritated my response contained facts about the impossibility of her seeing the other vehicle as well as the reasoning behind the high probability that the cars blinker was off.

My mothering needed much help that day.

 “MOM, I CAN SEE IT! I’ve told you a million times, I have Santa eyes!”

Ivy on bike

Her eyes see everything!

Finally napping mothering skills kicked in and I realized that I had been goaded into  a pointless, losing argument by my six year old.

The only way out would be sudden distraction or acquiescence.

Look Ivy!

Turkeys!!!

I Thought This Was A Moment…

I thought I had put this photo up on Friday, you know… This Moment: Six, Three and One & A Half

Apparently that only happened in my head.

Since pictures of all three girls are few a far between and my clematis is beautiful I thought I would share anyway.Ivy, Clara, Jane, Clematis

P.S. I think the girls are beautiful too but I figured that was a given.

P.P.S. Of course I might be biased

P.P.P. S. Also I would like to point out that I tried very hard to get them all to go in front of the flowers, thinking they would make a better back drop than my dirty porch… no such luck.

Monkeys At The Park

I went to the park and I found these noisy monkeys.

They hooted and grunted, jumped up and down, made faces and climbed the bars of their cage.

They were very entertaining monkeys.

But even all their noisy antics couldn’t compare with those of the Monkey King.

DSCN3279-(2sm)
Yup, that’s my husband.

The biggest monkey of them all.DSCN3280-(3sm)

Weekly Photo Challenge: The World Through Your Eyes

Weekly Photo Challenge: The World Through Your Eyesbarn

This is the neighbors’ barn as viewed from our upstairs window where I have always sat to rock the girls to sleep.

In the last six years I’ve seen it in the sun, the rain, the snow, the dark, spring, fall, with cows and without.

My favorite is when it’s under a full moon with snow on the ground.

But, lacking snow, I settled for my second favorite and was able to sneak in without waking Jane to get a summer sunset shot.

Sweet, Nice and Cute

Taking my children out in public transforms them.

It transforms them into kids that people make lovely comments about.

Comments that involve words like sweet, nice, and cute.

Now, mind you, I’m not complaining. Clara

Having demons in private and angels in public is far better than the inverse.

HOWEVER…

I wonder what those same people would think if they heard what happens in the truck when we say goodbye.

Tired girls loose their angelic qualities quickly when left with just Mom for an audience and even my well behaved children have conversations that might stun that nice little old lady in the checkout line….Ivy

Ivy: “Mom, You know what I love, love LOVE? Dead Racoons! Because-”

Clara: ” -‘Cause you can STEP on them!”

Ivy: “NO Clara! Because then they don’t kill our ducks and chickens!”

(I would like to state for the record that while I’m in full agreement with Ivy I have no idea why Clara wants to stomp on the roadkill.)