I was able to run away from home for a week of bird hunting in Montana this October.
And after the last few grey mornings here I’m longing for one of these still frosty Montana mornings.
Which sounds odd because I’m not at all a morning person. But I have found thatI’m much less grumpy if I get to spend sunrise in a field with my dogs rather than in the kitchen with my kids.
What can I say?
The dogs are always happy to be up and running and they never, ever, complain about their breakfast.
Ever have those moments that are just so – so adult, that it’s depressing?
Not long after we were married John and I bought a tractor. 
It was a nice little tractor and it did all sorts of things for us until one day when I was driving it and it said “CA- CHUNK” loudly and forcefully.
A time of tractor parts and grand plans followed the “ca-chunk” but, unfortunately, the end result was me in the driveway watching the pieces of my tractor getting smaller as they rode away on a flatbed truck.
Sadder than any woman really should be about a broken pile of metal I looked down at the small collection of crisp hundred dollar bills in my hand for consolation. I was momentarily cheered, until I remembered the broken dishwasher.
One day you are riding high on a tractor.
The next you are researching water efficient dishwashers.
Adulting is the worst.
It’s November! Time for a month of blog posting and team tiny peppers!
It’s also the month where daily posting means John does much less of my proofreading and you find out just how poor my spelling and grammar really are… …forgive me.
Perhaps you’ve noticed things haven’t been what one would call… easy, around here lately.
In addition this non-easy month has been filled with things that, thankfully, I don’t have much experience with. This of course makes them harder to handle and it feels as though all my answers now start with “I don’t know…”.
Today is the last day of a month of blogging (Applause welcome. Thank you!) and of all the things that happened this month, of all the stressors in life, blogging daily wasn’t one of them. I relished the time that I “had” to sit down and post something. I can do this. I am not the best blogger in the world, but I’m good at this. I know what I’m willing to share, and what I’m not. My writing is often missing punctuation and my pictures aren’t perfect but I’m proud to be able to share both anyway. Decisions in my blogging world have been easy. I know blogging.
Today, on this last day of daily blogging, Jane came home sick.
Super puking sick.
I went from a day of catching up on life and trying to make difficult decisions about things I’d never done, or am just learning to do, into sick kid mode. We have barf buckets, hair has been pulled into ponytails. There are extra blankets and water to sip. I’ve been running up and down the stairs emptying her bucket, tucking in her blankets and giving her water. And you know what? This might be the most relaxed afternoon I’ve had all month. I can do this. I’m not the best at mothering sick kids, but I’m good at this. I know what to do. I’m not debating if what I’m doing is the most important thing. I’m not wondering if I should be focusing my attention elsewhere. I’m doing what I need to, and I’m doing it well. Sick kids, though I never thought I’d say it, are easy.
It seems like I should now jump to the conclusion that this makes me the epitome of a mommy blogger (a phrase I have always avoided like the super puking plague). But, despite the fact that I’m relaxed and in my element while blogging and puker wrangling, that’s not it at all. Looking back at the month I am reminded that there are lots of things I’m learning. There are lots of things that are hard. And lots of things that have no good choices. I’ve spent the last month crying a boat load of tears and there was a good portion of them that were because I felt as if I didn’t know anything, that I had none of the answers.
But that’s not true, I’ve just been out of my element. I know all sorts of things. I have lots of answers. It’s just that this November things were really hard. When forced back into my element with a sick kid and blank computer screen I had a chance to remember… oh yes I can do these things, and a slew of others, well.
I just wish it hadn’t taken a dozen buckets of barf to remind me!
(And maybe I’m a mommy blogger too, but I’m still not ever going to own up to that.)
Stools are for butts he says.
But the counter is full of tiny pumpkins and there is no where else to put the pan.
Stools are for butts he says.
But the counter is full of slime making ingredients and there is no where else to put the tea cup.
Stools are for butts he says.
But there is a broken smoke detector and a broken fan on the counter.
Stools are for butts he says.
But there is a bag of markers and a compass on the counter.
Stools are for butts he says.
But there is a chapstick and a brush on the counter.
Stools are for butts he says.
But there is a towel and spray bottle and a flashlight on the counter.
Stools are for butts he says.
But there is a rock, a paintbrush, and a catalog on the counter.
Stools are for butts he says.
But there is an old horseshoe and a hair clip and a bracelet on the counter.
Ok,”Fine!” she says.
But then help me clean the damn counter!
Let it never be said that I glorified my housekeeping skills for social media.
Our kitchen counter is right inside the front door and becomes the dumping ground for everything as we go in and out. On bad days (all the days) the kids and I use the kitchen stools as extra “counter space.” John, does not approve of this habit. He does however always help clean the counter. We are just all very good a filling it right back up again.
Tonight we looked through all the old photo albums to find pictures of Gramps for his funeral next week. It was kinda hard, kinda sad and kinda fun but it certainly confirmed that nobody ever took a picture of Gramps when he wasn’t smiling.
Running across photos like this one left us smiling ourselves.
I’ll admit it, this photo just gives me the giggles. What a cutie he was!
Then it was kinda hard, kinda sad and kinda fun and if my eyes occasionally “leaked” a little bit I was smiling when it happened. Just like Gramps.
Normally I steer clear of controversial topics but occasionally there are times (like the great macaroni debate) when I’m willing to broach a touchy subject.
Photo taken for Mundane Monday with Trablogger!
The holidays are upon us, people everywhere are baking and I need to know…
How do you measure flour?
Weekly Photo Challenge: Transformation
Errr… you know when you go around taking pictures of things in “transition” because you think that’s what the photo challenge is and then you look late at night and realize it was a different, long, “t” word?
Yeah… that’s what I did.
I was going to talk about the transition from day to to night, how the neighbor was taking the corn off his field tonight and how this was taken in my driveway and all the transitions those things contain. It was a great “transition” post I had been writing in my head.
As it stands it was a good thing those clouds have been transformed by the setting sun or I’d have nothing to post tonight!
A Friday ritual.
A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.
A simple, special, extraordinary moment.
A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
Grandpa didn’t say he was coming home to die. He said he was coming home to make good memories with the time he had left.
Today we celebrated Thanksgiving. Our celebration included grace said around the hospital bed in the living room that we can only hope Grandpa heard before we had dinner on the other end of the house.
Today was hard.
Today we cried.
But today, when the butter shot out of the mixer while mashing potatoes, across the kitchen into the gravy and when we pulled out the old deck of animal rummy cards for a few lively rounds before bed and a dozen other smaller points in between, we also made good memories.
And that’s worth all the heartache and tears.
Behind the Willows 